Two days ...

... until Christmas.

This year I'm celebrating love and togetherness because there's nothing like it, right?  It has been a whirlwind of a year.  But, Christmas always reminds me to sit back, breathe and be thankful for all that I have.  As my dad says, I don't have a lot of money but I have my children, my family, and that's my wealth and happiness.  

I didn't get everything I wanted this year.  Some plans and dreams failed, as well.  My heart was broken more times than I want to remember.  But, I have a lot of love in my life.  And in the end, the failed dreams, the broken hearts, the unfulfilled wishes, don't really matter as much.  Because I have love.  And that's what matters.

my space

The guy who cleaned my carpet said that my place speaks volumes about the person who lives in it, i.e. me: lover of books, photographs, travel and the color red.

I never really gave it much thought about what my place says about me, but this stranger seemed to get it right.

The truth is it took me awhile to settle in here.  It took awhile before I painted the walls and hung pictures and even added furniture.  But, I think that's because when I moved in here, I didn't really know me.  I came from a long relationship, where I had lost myself, to here.  So, when I first moved into this place (my first place on my own), I didn't know what kind of art I liked or whether I preferred dark wood to cherry wood to oak wood. I couldn't even figure out what to have for dinner much more figure out what kind of bed sheets should go on my bed.  I know it sounds pathetic, but those were sad and unfortunate times.  That part of history I'd prefer to forget but was necessary in the growing process.

And well, over time, I started finding pieces of me.  As I did, furniture began to fill the space, and the walls began to blossom with color and art, creating a collage of my journey.  I guess what the carpet cleaner guy saw was finally a complete space, a finally complete me.  

my vision board/zen area.

i love black and whites with a splash of yellow.

my summer writing nights.

calm.

Does your place say something about you?  If so, what does it say?

breakfast love.

I found this gem in the neighborhood called Ted & Honey Café Market.

The one discovery I made in my thirties that I wish I could tell my teenage and/or twenty-something self is to eat breakfast.  I think we've all heard how it's the most important meal of the day, but somehow, it's that advice many people, including myself, ignore(d).  Foolishly, pre-thirties, I prided in the fact that I could go on an entire day without feeding my body anything but a slice of bread and ten cups of coffee.  And now, well, I guess this is the perfect time for this overdue confession: I don't drink coffee anymore.  Okay, I'll have my occasional decaf in the morning, but as a longtime coffee drinker, I don't consider decaf coffee as coffee.  

And I know, this blog is called coffee moments because I loved coffee.  And I still love the smell of it, the idea of it, and occasionally, the taste of it (thus, the decaf), but I don't drink it anymore.  Honestly, I lost the need for it.  (But that's for another post.)  And I thought about changing the name of this blog, but I couldn't because of what "coffee moments" meant to me.

But, anyway, back to breakfast and how it's good for you.  I had the egg, avocado, tomato and harvati cheese breakfast sandwich, and it was amazing.  I'm definitely coming back here because I've just fallen in love with the charming interior with its wooden chairs and tables.  I love the exterior bright red paint, as well.  And, it's just one of those places where the people who work there call the regulars by their names, and gives the aura of community, connection, familiarity.  You see, as much as I love trying out new things and places, I also love routine.  And things that are familiar.  So, this is a place I'll be going back to.  A new routine in the making.

running

Next month will be a year since my car accident.  Almost a year since I ran. 

So, yesterday, during my afternoon walk, I decided to give it a try.  Run, I told myself.  Be brave.  You can do it.  You're okay, now.  The doctor cleared me months and months ago.  I just had not felt the same.  And honestly, I was scared to run.  To push myself physically.      

But, then, I did.  Slowly, I broke into a jog and next thing I knew, I found my rhythm and I was running again.
 
And it felt exhilirating.  I didn't realize how much I missed it until I actually felt the rush of energy in my lungs and the wind against my face.  The feel of the concrete under my feet. 

Even though I've been walking a lot, there's something different about running.  And I had forgotten that difference until now.  When I run I feel connected to every single muscle inside of me.  I feel connected to the ground as my feet pounces on the concrete and I hear the sound of its welcome greeting.  I feel connected to the wind as we constantly collide with one another. 

And I wonder, had it always been that way?  Did running always make me feel freer, happier and more alive?

Perhaps, I've stayed away from it long enough to recognize it.  Maybe that time apart was needed.  So, I could once again appreciate all it had to offer.  So, I could appreciate how much I loved it.  And how much I needed it.

Now, I can't wait for my next run.  :)  

sky snaps

If you know me, you know I love the sky.  My friends think I have this unnatural obsession with it.  Pretty much, they think I'm weird because I'm always taking pictures of the sky.  But, when I went to the Annenberg House a couple of weeks ago, I saw this exhibit:

So, it looks like I'm not the only one obsessed with the sky. 

Anyhow, today was a good sky day.  Actually, a very beautiful sky day. 

Enough to make this day even more awesome.  :) 

Hope you had a wonderful Wednesday!  And hope you got to see the amazing sky, and that it put a big smile on your face. 

By the way, do you see the fox running?

life's simple joys

Having your favorite author's new book delivered to your doorstep on the day it is released:

There is something especially exciting and joyous about opening a package or envelope that is delivered by the good ol' mail man/woman.  Or UPS/FedEx.  Love it!  

Now, I can't wait to finish this brief so I can start reading ... :)

  

he makes my heart melt

I've had a super-busy and stressful last couple of days, hence, my absence here.  But this afternoon I got this text from Jordan, and suddenly, the tensions in my shoulders and back disappeared.  And my heart melted.

"Ninang Mae, we should go ice skating.  I remember the last time was about 2008.  I remember it was ate (pr. a-teh, meaning: big sister), you and me.  Remember that?"*  ("Ninang" means godmother.)   

He's right - the last time I took him ice skating was in 2008.  The funny thing is that he was three at the time.

Yesterday, on the way to church, I asked him how his newborn niece was doing.  His response: She doesn't care about the world.  All she does is sleep, cry, eat, and poop.  I couldn't help but laugh.

When I think of Jordan I think maybe he's the reason I don't have kids just yet.  I don't think we'd have the kind of relationship we do if I did.  Or it would just be different.  He'd have to share me with someone.  And right now, he's not meant to.  He's the little man in my life.  The love of my life. 

I remember a couple of months ago, Jordan got really upset with me for snapping at him and scolding him.  So, he refused to answer my text messages and calls.  A couple of days later, I told my dad that I was sad because Jordan was mad at me.  A few minutes later, I got this text from Jordan: "I <3 U."  Then, he called me: I love you, he said.  I wasn't mad at you.  I love you!

How can I not be crazy about that boy?


*Just as a disclaimer, my six-year-old nephew doesn't have a cell phone.  He uses his sister's phone.  :) 

Inspiration and the sky

Want to know a secret?

I'm fascinated with the sky.  It inspires me.  And clouds that fill the sky has always had an unfailing ability to perk me up.  All.  The.  Time.  No.  Matter.  What. 

I think that's why I fell in love with Europe.  When I think of Spain, I remember umbrellas of clouds in varying shapes and sizes.  I felt like I was in heaven.  The way I always imagined heaven to look like.

So, thought I'd share some pics that make me smile.  (Remember, I live in Los Angeles, and as much as I love this city, it is known for, yep, it's that word =SMOG= so I savor every bit of cloud I can get.) 

down the 405

i love the blue!

office view: on a Monday afternoon

Happy Tuesday, everyone!!! 

(And 3 more days until the writing retreat.  I can't wait!!!)

balance

Today, I was not at my best.

Although I didn't start out that badly.

I got up early enough to make myself breakfast,

cook my lunch (and dinner), and I even got to

watch Brad Pitt's and Jonah Hill's interview on the Today show.

I drafted (and finished) a pleading.

By noon, I had done quite a bit (a lot).

But, then, I couldn't work anymore.

Almost as if I couldn't function.

It hurt to even sit on my chair.

I just stared at the computer screen,

trying to talk myself into starting the tedious task

of reviewing the five-hundred-page discovery in front of me.

But, I couldn't.

Next thing I knew, it was 1:30.

I had been trying to convince myself to work for over an hour.

So, finally, I just took a deep breath, closed my eyes,

and pulled out my new read for the week:

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks.

Maybe reading something aside from investigation reports

will rejuvenate me.

It didn't.

As good as the read was, my mind wandered.

I needed to work, but I also didn't want to.

And I couldn't force myself to anymore.

So, I left the office.

And I did yoga.  Then, pilates.

 I realized, it was what I needed.

I've been so busy trying to juggle the additional work

I've taken on, along with book clubs and writing classes,

and not to mention cooking and trying to maintain

my new healthy-eating-habits, that I haven't had

time to really work out.

I mean, I've always been a very busy person.

Or maybe I should rephrase that and say,

I am a person who loves to keep herself very busy.

But that busyness must include certain things I cannot be without.

Because when I don't have those things in my life,

I feel imbalanced.

I feel incomplete.

Aside from working many hours, I need art in my life.

I need to read novels and listen to music and

look at photographs, or take pictures, and

write stories (or blogs).

But I also need physical activity.

I need to take long walks or hikes or go for a run.

I need to stretch until my heart begins to race.

I need to feel the pull in my muscles and my lungs expand.

I need to feel my blood rush through my body.

I need movement.

Movement was what I was lacking.

(I had not been able to work out for a week.)

So, movement was what I gave myself.

It's amazing what an hour of yoga and pilates can do.

I feel at my best again.

Now, I can enjoy the rest of the evening

with The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks.

Have a good night, everyone!

Photo by me.

Like Crazy

Finally saw it.  And it's painfully.  real.

The thing is we don't choose who we fall in love with.  We just fall.

And I've found that even if it hurts and ends up breaking our hearts, we are still considered lucky if we meet that someone who just fits.  Even if all the circumstances doesn't.  Because even in our saddest moments, he/she still makes us happy for having touched our lives.  Because he/she inspires us to be a better person.  And that, to me, is the core of happiness. 

After the movie, my friend asked me what if she got it wrong?  With her husband.  What if she could be happier?

I told her about a conversation I had with a mutual friend a couple of years ago.  We were talking about loss and relationships.  Life.  And I remember telling him that I was happy, and I realized that as much as it broke my heart to pieces when I let a certain someone go, I believe I had to go through that to be here.  I told him that I didn't think I'd be the person I have become if I didn't go through that.  The kind of pain that made it hard to breathe.  For months afterwards.  The agonizing regret that followed.  It changed me.  And I came out of it a different person.  A person I actually like.  A person I love.  And I'm happy.

He asked, "but what if you could've been happier?  With him?"

And I remember saying, "But I'm really happy now.  Why would I change this for something I don't know?  I can't live on a what if.  What if I could've been happier, but what if I could've been really sad?"

Maybe neither of us had the answer.  Maybe no one does.

All I know is that we can't help how we feel.  But the least we could do for ourselves is be real. 

The truth of the matter was, I told her, I loved him.  But I wasn't happy.  And it didn't feel right.  Something was missing.  And maybe it was just me.  But at the end of the day, I live with me.  Sleep with me.  Wake with me.  So I need(ed) to be okay.  And I wasn't okay.  And now that I'm more than okay, I know more than ever that I did the right thing.  At that moment, when I let him go, I knew I could be happier.  Because I wasn't. 

So, I asked her, are you happy?

And he said ...

~ smile ~

p.s. I've had this song on repeat all morning.  U2 in the morning = happiness. :)  Hope you have a beautiful Thursday! 

Photo via



What makes you happy?

I recently asked a friend if she was happy.  She asked me what that meant.  She didn't know what happiness was.

Her response made me sad.  How can she not know what happiness is?

And it got me thinking, do you know what makes you happy?  What happiness is to you?  Because I think happiness is everywhere.  In the little things.  

Waking up in the morning, feeling the sunlight on my face.  Opera on the radio while stuck in traffic.  The guy in the car next to me singing loudly, but passionately, and beautifully out of tune.  The barista smiling behind the counter because he knows exactly how I like my latte.  A stranger's smiling face.  Talking to one of my oldest friends on the way to work.  The sound of the piano by the touch of my fingers.  A really good book.  One Day.  Perks of Being A Wallflower.  The Alchemist.  Harry Potter.  My nephew's excited and happy voice.  Hearing him tell his fabulous stories.  Happy endings.  Because there are.  Many.  Hikes with Enya.  Walking around the neighborhood.  Ice cream.  Breakfast/lunch/dinners with my girls.  Family time.  Even if it's in the hospital.  The smell of coffee in the morning.  In the afternoon.  In the evening.  Fresh, clean sheets.  The Hollywood Bowl.  Classical music.  The lyrical sound of a poem read out loud.  Clouds in the sky.  Fresh flowers by my bed.  In my bathroom.  I can really go on and on and on.  

You see, I do believe in what Tolstoy said: "If you want to be happy, be." 

The other day, I heard this fluttering sound as I was applying mascara.  It was the sound of the brush as it touched and stroked my lashes.  I've applied mascara over a thousand times, and that was the first time I ever heard that sound.  And it made me so happy.  I couldn't help but smile and giggle and laugh by the sound I just discovered.  Experienced.  It was awesome.        

I like to believe that happiness is in the little things.  In the little moments.  That make up this life.  Our present life.  

And if you're wondering or questioning or just lost about what happiness is to you, try doing a handstand.  Somehow, being upside down does wonders.  Turns that frown into a smile.  :)    

        



Photo: midnight charm 

Remembering our heroes

I had an amazing weekend.  But honestly, I feel a little weird saying that considering that this weekend is the ten-year anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy, when so many lives were lost, and we as a nation grieved for them.  But personally, I think it was also a time when heroes stepped up, and provided hope.  And it is because of those heroes that I thought why not just write about this amazing weekend? 

You see, there are many heroes in our lives although many of them are often unrecognized.  But this weekend, I remembered mine.  And I realized that God does place certain people in our lives, at the precise time when we need them, and those people become our heroes to help us through, and give us hope.

On Friday night, I went to see the Tchaikovsky Spectacular at the Hollywood Bowl.  And just to warn you, you'll probably see the word amazing on this post many times, but it was just AMAZING!  The moment the orchestra started to tell the story of Romeo and Juliet, I felt as if this huge, heavy drape that was over my body began to lift up.  And as the music got louder, intense, and then soften to a romantic melody, I felt the drape drop away from me, and my body was free.  At that moment, I felt every sound, every note, that came from the orchestra.  And by the time Swan Lake began, I was me again.  Me before the tragedies of my life happened.  And I remembered the girl who wasn't afraid to express herself.  The girl who wore faded jeans, peasant tops and mismatched shoes, and always had daisies or sunflowers (or both) in her hair, even when she was often reminded that she was in the wrong decade (and was so out of season).  The girl who took her oversized Keroppi to school, and made sure he had a seat next to her in class (and this was senior year of high school).  The girl who made tape recordings to declare and profess her love to her high school boyfriend.  The girl better known as the memory keeper.  And the girl who was not afraid to stand up for a cause, and speak her mind.  The girl who wanted to be a dancer, an actress, a writer and a lawyer, all at the same time.

The girl before the conglomeration of tragedies. 

You see, the unfortunate consequence of tragedies are these protective layers that start to hover over us .  And the more tragedies that come our way, that protective armor, those huge, heavy drapes, or big, stone walls, become so great that we get lost in them.  And eventually, forgotten.

I became lost in mine.  For a long time.
 
But something happened this weekend.  Maybe it was Tchaikovsky.  Or I've just been reading a lot of old letters and journals.  Or it's the 9/11 anniversary.  However, I realized that we all have our stories and we all have our tragedies, but the tragedies of mine are no longer relevant.  What matters is that I survived them.  Because tragedies happen and will happen, but what matters is what we do with those tragedies.  How do we respond?   Do we fold?  Or do we fight for our lives?  For our happiness?  Now, looking back, I realize that although I was battered, bruised and broken for a long time, I always had some hope.  And when that hope was diminishing, God placed people in my life, to remind me of it.  To give it back to me.  To believe in me when I didn't believe in myself.            

On Saturday night, I went to the Harvest Crusade at the Dodger Stadium.  It was the most humbling experience.  And I felt rejuvenated.  Found.  But most of all, grateful.  And blessed.  As Chris Tomlin sang Amazing Grace, I thought, yes, it's because of God's grace that I'm here.  Happy.  Really happy.

And like the wonder of life, today I came across a treasure.  As I was cleaning up boxes of old documents and letters and books, I came across a manila envelope with the word "Speech" written across it.  Inside were copies of my junior high newspaper with my bylines in them; my elementary school "yearbook" where "lawyer" was written under my ambition; cards from my Speech coach encouraging me to be a winner; and a college letter recommendation from my English teacher.  By the time I finished reading the letter, I was crying.  Because, like I said, life happened and it was not so nice at times, and the letter reminded me of how God placed people in my life to help me through my battles.  My English teacher wrote the letter as a second, special recommendation after I got rejected from the university I really wanted to go to.  I hand delivered that letter to the University head of admissions after sitting in the waiting area outside of his office all day.  I still didn't get into the school.

But I am a lawyer as I aspired.   

And I thank my heroes for that. 


 

Photo: Flavio

happiness in little (big) things

I will have a dinner party like this one day.



It's Friday, and I've had quite an exhausting week.  And although I still have tons to do, I'm just so giddy and excited for tonight!  My girlfriend is again spoiling me with another date night at the Bowl.  I love the Bowl.  And tonight it's Tchaikovsky (with a fireworks show!).  I can't sit still with excitement.

And then Anna (at Little Reminders of Love) just recommended a book (A Tree Grows in Brooklyn), and since it's Anna (who I think is the most adorable blogperson I know), I have to read it.  Actually, I've heard about the book (numerous times), so I'm finally picking it up.  For a must read.  This quote she posted (after stating that Francie "is a girl young girls should know") just hooked me: 

"People always think that happiness is a faraway thing," thought Francie,

"something complicated and hard to get.  Yet, what little things can make it up;

a place of shelter when it rains - a cup of strong hot coffee when you're blue;

for a man, a cigarette for contentment; a book to read when you're alone -

just to be with someone you love.  Those things make happiness."

Like Francie, I do believe it's the little things that make up happiness.  (Although such little things can actually be BIG when it makes you happy.)  Like Tchaikovsky tonight.  Seeing a smile on the face of the one you love, and hearing that he's happy - even from far away.  Even if he's far away.  Text messages from my nephew.  Hearing my nephew's excited voice.  Talking to my best friend, and hearing him talk about his wife and daughter and new baby on the way.  Wonderful girlfriends.  This beautiful sunny day.  Saturday brunches by the beach.  J.K. Rowling to inspire me.   

Anyhow, gotta go back to work.  Lunch break is over ... and in a few hours, I get to listen to Tchaikovsky!  Heaven! :)   

      

Photo: Happy Weekend

the things that make us smile (Sept. 2011 edition)

It's been a long day already, but I still have a long way to go before my day at the office is over.  And although I told myself I would trudge on, and work straight through the night, I need to take this short break.

For my well-being.

Sometimes, we have to listen to our bodies.  Right now, my brain is telling me it cannot look at another report.  It cannot look at anymore disturbing things for awhile.  It needs happy thoughts.  It needs beautiful things.  It needs to be reminded that life is beautiful.  I haven't done this for awhile, so thought I'd give it what it needs: the things that make us smile series. 

I had a wonderful non-work weekend.  Got to spend time with people I love.  Saturday was just beautiful.  Friends and I spent the evening outdoors, had dinner by the pool, delicious grilled chicken and steak, and lots of wine.  It was lovely.  Beyond lovely.  I learned a lot about my very good friend's husband, who I spent the earlier part of the evening speaking to.  Funny how you can know someone for years, but not really know much about them.  I loved hearing about his life growing up in Scotland.  For some reason, I get along very well with foreigners, i.e. non-Americans.  I find them to be wonderful and fascinating people.  It's the reason why I love traveling.  How I wish I could do more of it. 

Then, Sunday I got to see my favorite kids who are growing up way too fast.  I love hearing them talk amongst each other, joke with one another, and especially, I love it when they talk to me about their lives.  It's such a privilege to have them trust me that way. 

And my Sunday became even lovelier when I got to see my sweet, charming friend (who I've mentioned a few times but let's just call him "Dex"...), and well, who I just absolutely adore.  I haven't seen him in months, and so, it was great catching up.  Even if it was only for a short while.  He makes me smile.  Those are always the best people to have around: someone who brings out the happy kid in you.  :)  I miss him already (which is the part I dislike the most).  I'm never one good with partings ...

So, let's move on to other things that put a smile to my face:

Lovely!  I love flowers. :)

photo: nobi*

Butterflies and cupcakes!  What more can I ask for?

photo: Shamima Desai

The always-changing (but constant) beautiful sky, and how it meets the ocean.

photo: angus clyne

     
And well, of course, text messages from my best friend.  That really made me smile.     

Life plans

"What are  you going to do with your life?"  In one way or another it seemed

that people had been asking her this forever; teachers, her parents, friends

at three in the morning, but the question had never seemed this pressing and

still she was no nearer an answer.  'Live each day as if it's your last', that was

the conventional advice, but really, who had the energy for that?  What if

it rained or you felt a bit glandy?  It just wasn't practical.  Better by far

to be good and courageous and bold and to make a difference. 

Not change the world exactly, but the bit around you.  Cherish your friends,

stay true to your principles, live passionately and fully and well. 

Experience new things.  Love and be loved, if you ever get the chance."

(One Day by David Nicholls)

I was a planner.  Had my whole life planned out by the time I was ten years old - what school I was going to attend for college; at what age I was going to publish my first book; age I was going to get married; age I was going to have my first child; by when I would have my first house, my own law practice, and my own publishing company.  But let's just say that a large percentage of my plans didn't actually pan out as I had imagined.  And contemplated.  And carefully devised.  

Let's just say, I was always disappointed.  About things not being checked off from my life planner.  And there was a time, not so long ago, that I felt really disappointed.  With myself.  With life.  And I was very discouraged.  But that not-so-long-ago-time now feels like a lifetime ago.  

And recently, I've been asked this question several times: how are you so happy? 

Initially, I found it rather sad.  And odd.  That I'd be asked such a question. 

But I've since realized that most, if not all, persons just want to be happy.  And just don't know how. 

So, I tell them that it's because I've let go.  Of trying to control things that are out of my control (which I've learned are many, many things in life).  You see, I've realized that the only thing I have control of is how I live my life.  Everyday.  How I treat the people around me.  How I approach my job.  Whether I get up early in the morning or stay in bed for another hour.  Whether I go to the office at all.  Whether I return my clients' calls or not.  Whether I honk and yell at the guy who cut me off in the freeway.  Whether I go to dinner with my friends or stay in and watch a movie all by my lonesome.  Whether I say 'thank you' to the cashier at the supermarket who appears to be having a bad day and has taken it out on me.  Those things I have control of (even though, sometimes, I much rather blame the alarm clock for not waking me up or some unseen force that made me honk ten times at the very rude driver who cut me off).  But who am I kidding?  I have control of one thing: me. 

And everything else, I don't.  I don't have control of what my clients do with their lives.  I don't have control of whether I get a raise (I can ask for one, but whether I get it depends on another person, who I can't force to give me one ... because that would be called something else).  I don't have control of what my family or friends do and how they live their lives.  I can't will the guy I've been pining for to call me no matter how much I stare at the phone.  And I can't make him love me if he just doesn't.  I don't have control of anyone or anything else.  But me.  

So, I tell those who asked me how I can be so happy, well, I'm happy because I choose to be.  I don't plan every details of my life anymore.  If I do plan anything, I just plan to pay my bills on time, meet all my deadlines at work, save money and pay off debt, and be kind to everyone around me, even the driver who cut me off or the cashier who seemed to be having a bad day and took it out on me.  If I plan anything, it's just to be the best friend, sister, daughter, granddaughter, aunt, and lawyer I can be.  It's just to love those in my life and hold close to my heart whether they love me in return.

So, I'm happy because I choose to be.

And I told them, you could be happy, too.  If you choose to be.        

Photo: ashappyaskings

just let go!

I've officially started my weekend off.

Well, I decided to anyway.  A few hours early.

Funny how I can be so excited to be off

for the weekend.

Isn't that what a weekend is supposed to be for?

Some time off?

(Well, I really don't know how a full day off looks like anymore.)

(And honestly, I feel a little guilty because I should be

working.  You know, that BIG motion due in a few days.)

Then, I heard myself saying ...

encouraging, maybe even justifying ...

that I need this.  So, just let go!

For a few days.

Don't think about work

At.  All.

One of my dearest, best friends booked

us a massage and some calming/detoxing wrap

for this afternoon, followed by a lovely dinner.

She said, just escape.

Savor it.

You deserve it.

So, if she thinks I deserve it,

it's okay, right?

Well, I do feel less guilty.

(Maybe I'll be hitting myself on the head in a few days ...

but let's not look too far ahead.)

And what matters is right now.

This present moment.

And this present moment,

I'm clocking out.

Just looking forward to pure relaxation.

And lots of yummy food.

Sweet dessert.

Good conversation.

Great wine.

Hugs, kisses,

 and, of course,

 lots of laughter.

Isn't that what life is all about?

Photo: Caiti Borruso

a pink balloon

All I want for my birthday is a pink balloon.

I've had an annoying, lingering headache since my trip to Dallas last week.

Work is piling up, and I have deadline after deadline, 

which involves some major legal analyzing.

But my head hurts!

However, I promised my friends that I would take the weekend off.

Since it is my birthday weekend! (Big smile!)

So, serious pressure to get A LOT done this week.

Despite the pounding headache.

But oddly enough, I am in the mood to celebrate.

And that's a first because like I've said

I never was much of a birthday-celebrating-kinda-gal.

But this year calls for a celebration.

Not so much because it's my birthday.

But it's because life is wonderful.

And I'm happy.

I couldn't really say that ten years ago.

I couldn't really say that five years ago.

So, I thought, why not celebrate happiness?

Thus, when asked by family and friends

what I wanted, I just said

quality time with "lots of laughter"

on the menu.

(So, of course, I.  Cannot.  Work.  At.  All.)

And again, just between you and me,

a pink balloon.

I want a pink balloon.

That would make my day just lovely and perfect! 

photo: Brandon Warren

lovin' it all!

Did you know that July is National Ice Cream Month?

No wonder I love ice cream!!!

Anyhow, I'm still a little tired from my two-day business trip.

But nothing yoga and a good hearty breakfast couldn't fix.

Now, I feel refreshed.

And guess what???

I got a raise!

Isn't that awesome?

I opened the envelope.

And there it was.

My pleasant surprise.

Things aren't bad.

Not at all.

Around this time last month

I was sorta heartbroken,

from what I can recall.

Remember?

But now, I'm just lovin' it all.

My life.  My friends.  My family.

Ice cream.

My job.

Chocolate.

Yoga.

My spinach and red onions omelet.

Home.

And that heart text message from a special someone.

Sometimes, we just have to ride out the bad.

And never lose sight of the big picture.

Never stop appreciating each moment

of our lives.

Good or bad.

But definitely enjoy the good.

Relish it.

Sometimes, bad things happen

to make us better appreciate the good.

Sometimes, we need to get our hearts broken

to recognize (and realize) what is really love.

By the way, my new blog obsession: food + words.

Love it!

Of course!

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

p.s. I'll be working.  And although I don't mind it so much, I'm in that so-happy mood that a BIG part of me wishes I just splurged, and took that weekend trip to the desert. :)  Besides, I did get a raise!  Oh well, I'll still enjoy this weekend for all it has to offer.  Smile! 

Photo: food + words

a whole lotta sweetness

I had an amazing weekend!

For starters, 'twas my nephew's birthday weekend

so there was a whole lotta family ... and lovin'.

He wanted to go camping, so

(we) they went camping.

(Camping is not really my thing, so I visited, they camped.)

And I won something!

Not at the camping trip.

Last week, I entered a contest,

and got an email on Friday that I won!

Wow!  Okay, it's just a book and a box of biscotti

but still, it made me sooo happy!

I was just telling someone last week how I've never

won anything except a box of blotters when I went

to play Bingo with my grandparents for my 21st birthday.

(By the way, that was an awesome night!)

(This person I was talking to won a trip to Hawaii, thus, my comment.)

And, to end my weekend just ever-more sweetly,

a darlin' little girl went up to me while

I was waiting at Coffee Bean to tell me

she loved my toes (you see, I always have these elaborate

flower designs on them thanks to my amazing pedicurist.)

And how she liked my shirt.

And that she thought I was pretty.

Aww, she melted my heart.

I told her she was beautiful.

I know the above photo has nothing to do with this post,

but I have this obsession with food lately.

And it just looked so good ... and sweet.

So, well, that makes it very fitting.

Photo: ariane chan