balance

Today, I was not at my best.

Although I didn't start out that badly.

I got up early enough to make myself breakfast,

cook my lunch (and dinner), and I even got to

watch Brad Pitt's and Jonah Hill's interview on the Today show.

I drafted (and finished) a pleading.

By noon, I had done quite a bit (a lot).

But, then, I couldn't work anymore.

Almost as if I couldn't function.

It hurt to even sit on my chair.

I just stared at the computer screen,

trying to talk myself into starting the tedious task

of reviewing the five-hundred-page discovery in front of me.

But, I couldn't.

Next thing I knew, it was 1:30.

I had been trying to convince myself to work for over an hour.

So, finally, I just took a deep breath, closed my eyes,

and pulled out my new read for the week:

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks.

Maybe reading something aside from investigation reports

will rejuvenate me.

It didn't.

As good as the read was, my mind wandered.

I needed to work, but I also didn't want to.

And I couldn't force myself to anymore.

So, I left the office.

And I did yoga.  Then, pilates.

 I realized, it was what I needed.

I've been so busy trying to juggle the additional work

I've taken on, along with book clubs and writing classes,

and not to mention cooking and trying to maintain

my new healthy-eating-habits, that I haven't had

time to really work out.

I mean, I've always been a very busy person.

Or maybe I should rephrase that and say,

I am a person who loves to keep herself very busy.

But that busyness must include certain things I cannot be without.

Because when I don't have those things in my life,

I feel imbalanced.

I feel incomplete.

Aside from working many hours, I need art in my life.

I need to read novels and listen to music and

look at photographs, or take pictures, and

write stories (or blogs).

But I also need physical activity.

I need to take long walks or hikes or go for a run.

I need to stretch until my heart begins to race.

I need to feel the pull in my muscles and my lungs expand.

I need to feel my blood rush through my body.

I need movement.

Movement was what I was lacking.

(I had not been able to work out for a week.)

So, movement was what I gave myself.

It's amazing what an hour of yoga and pilates can do.

I feel at my best again.

Now, I can enjoy the rest of the evening

with The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks.

Have a good night, everyone!

Photo by me.