It has been a rough couple of days. In fact, the last week and a half has been quite a struggle as I tried to accomplish everything on my to-do list while at the same time fighting a cold and a bout of exhaustion.
In the beginning of this month, I signed myself up for several blogging and writing challenges (the write 31 days challenge, the 500 words a day challenge, and Intentional Blogging challenge), as well as, a half marathon that is scheduled for next month, when I'm supposed to be participating in NaNoWriMo (write 50,000 words in 30 days). Not to mention I do have to work and manage my business, which takes up a good chunk of my time. And sleep. I do need sleep, and an hour and a half of Gilmore Girls before I'm tucked in.
I started this month with a lot of energy and determination. I was running every other day at 6:30 a.m. and then, writing every night until way past midnight. I was publishing posts on a consistent basis, almost daily. Work had picked up again and I was gratefully cranking on those billable hours.
Then, the two-week mark hit. I woke up feeling like I had just ran two marathons. I had the chills, but not the kind that happens after a long run. My head was stuffy, my eyes were burning, and my nose was running. I was sick. I was exhausted.
It's a problem I have. I try to do so much all at once until my body begins to protest and eventually forces me to stop, take a break. But, even when I do, there's a noisy nagging in my head that scolds my guilty conscience for giving up. I have a hard time accepting that sometimes I can't do it all: work full-time and a half and also be able to consistently publish decent (at the very least, mildly interesting) material on my blog. Run and increase my mileage every week. Read my book club's pick of the month. Have my weekly Mondates with my nephew and Sunday bible study with my family. (And of course, there's my nightly dates with the Gilmore Girls.)
There's a lot to do in a day, in a week. And I want to do it all. 100%.
But, it's tough. Time is something I struggle with. 24 hours seem like a lot, and yet, I still can't finish everything on my to-do list. A few weeks ago I saw a mug that said, "You have the same hours in the day as Beyonce." I assumed the message was that Beyonce does a lot (or can do it all), and so, why can't we? Why couldn't I?
I know Beyonce may not be a fair example or comparison. And this post is not about comparing myself to her. I don't know how Beyonce uses or manages her time. But I know how I use mine. And sometimes, I just don't manage it well. I try to cramp too much in a day because I want to do it all. And all at once. But, sometimes, that just isn't possible. And in reality, I just end up not getting much done at all because I'm exhausted.
So, what do I do? What do we do when reality interferes with our dreams? When 24 hours in a day are just not enough but it's what we have?
Well, for starters, I listened to my body and took a break. A quiet break to work on silencing the critical nagging in my head. I do this by praying and meditating. That's what works for me.
Once all the noise has subsided, I then go over my to-do list again, but this time, I have a calmer, less exhausted, mind, so that I can evaluate the importance of each item. Do I really need to do all 1001 things on Monday or can 500 wait until Tuesday? Do these items affect anyone? What are the consequences if I don't accomplish what's on my list that day? That week? Or even that month?
This is what I came up with: One, I need to work and so, a good chunk of time, a minimum of eight hours a day, has to be dedicated to that. Monday afternoon dates with my nephew are important, and so, on Mondays, I just have to get up at least an hour earlier, so that I can still accomplish a full day of work and even fit a half hour of writing in the morning.
I don't have to run everyday to train. Three or four times a week is sufficient, and on the days I do run, I just can't expect myself to also publish a new post on my blog. Two posts (or three on some weeks) is all I can dedicate right now, and I shouldn't beat myself up for it.
Because I do want to finish my novel. And at least one hour of writing a day, even if that hour is broken in fifteen-minute increments, is better than nothing. I'll be at least one hour closer to finishing my novel.
And this brings me to some of the sacrifices I need to make: I need to cut out my nightly bonding with the Gilmore Girls. (Hey, maybe it's the key to Beyonce's ability to do it all.) I know nestling on the couch, watching Gilmore Girls, is my "way of unwinding," but I need to be honest with myself. Sometimes we have too much fun and they keep me up later at night, cuts in on the sleep I need to get, and I have a hard time waking up to run or write in the morning.
Sometimes, to accomplish all we want or need to do requires saying no, or maybe later, to some dates. But, when you think about it, we maybe saying "no" to something or someone, but we're also saying "yes" to what's pressing, what we need to do, our dream.
Besides, I can catch up with the Gilmore Girls on Friday nights.
