sky snaps

If you know me, you know I love the sky.  My friends think I have this unnatural obsession with it.  Pretty much, they think I'm weird because I'm always taking pictures of the sky.  But, when I went to the Annenberg House a couple of weeks ago, I saw this exhibit:

So, it looks like I'm not the only one obsessed with the sky. 

Anyhow, today was a good sky day.  Actually, a very beautiful sky day. 

Enough to make this day even more awesome.  :) 

Hope you had a wonderful Wednesday!  And hope you got to see the amazing sky, and that it put a big smile on your face. 

By the way, do you see the fox running?

he makes my heart melt

I've had a super-busy and stressful last couple of days, hence, my absence here.  But this afternoon I got this text from Jordan, and suddenly, the tensions in my shoulders and back disappeared.  And my heart melted.

"Ninang Mae, we should go ice skating.  I remember the last time was about 2008.  I remember it was ate (pr. a-teh, meaning: big sister), you and me.  Remember that?"*  ("Ninang" means godmother.)   

He's right - the last time I took him ice skating was in 2008.  The funny thing is that he was three at the time.

Yesterday, on the way to church, I asked him how his newborn niece was doing.  His response: She doesn't care about the world.  All she does is sleep, cry, eat, and poop.  I couldn't help but laugh.

When I think of Jordan I think maybe he's the reason I don't have kids just yet.  I don't think we'd have the kind of relationship we do if I did.  Or it would just be different.  He'd have to share me with someone.  And right now, he's not meant to.  He's the little man in my life.  The love of my life. 

I remember a couple of months ago, Jordan got really upset with me for snapping at him and scolding him.  So, he refused to answer my text messages and calls.  A couple of days later, I told my dad that I was sad because Jordan was mad at me.  A few minutes later, I got this text from Jordan: "I <3 U."  Then, he called me: I love you, he said.  I wasn't mad at you.  I love you!

How can I not be crazy about that boy?


*Just as a disclaimer, my six-year-old nephew doesn't have a cell phone.  He uses his sister's phone.  :) 

sunday love

Things that make (made) me smile ...


Cheesecake-Filled Chocolate Easter Egg Cups; recipe @ raspberri cupcakes

Tyler Knott

Positano, Italy (via)
I will go here one day.

Thresca

Today's worship service at church starting with Psalm 73.

Psalm 73:25-28:

Whom have I in heaven but you? 

And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;

you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to You.

But for me it is good to be near God;

I have made the Lord God my refuge,

that I may tell of all your works.

Trader Joe's.

An old man went up to me today.  He asked if I was this woman,

whose name he called me .  I said no.  Then, he just looked at me,

and walked back to his car.

I returned the grocery cart where it belonged.  And as I walked back to my

car, I saw the old man standing in front of his.  He looked like he was crying.

Or praying.

He, then, looked up and saw me looking at him.  I smiled.  And he walked

up to me again.  He said that when he looks at me, he sees her.  100%, he said.

You look just like her.

His eyes started to glisten with tears.  Are you Italian? he asked.

No, I said.  He smiled, and started to walk away.  You look just like her.

    I felt like telling him I cried at church this morning.

It must have been the remnants of tears in my eyes.

It made me think about how we're all broken in some way.  

The old man looked sad and disappointed when I said I wasn't her.

I wonder who she was to him.

But whoever she was, his eyes and smile told me he loved her.

Which made me think about how we all carry love in our hearts.

Love that breaks us.

Love that fulfills us.

Love that carries us along.

some things to smile about

The rain. 

The sky just before the sun sets. 

This song.

Green smoothies.

Second chances.

(the possibility of a second chance)

Forgiveness.

Family.

A church family.

Love.

This quote:

"Love will break you.  Nobody can protect you from that,

and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break

you with its yearning.  You have to love.  You have to

feel.  It is the reason you are here on earth.  You are here

to risk your heart.  You are here to be swallowed up.

And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed,

or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit

by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all

around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness.  Tell

yourself you tasted as many as you could."

(Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum)

wish list + things that made me smile

I had a rough week.  But, in some ways, it was good.  Forced me to stop, listen, and think.  Re-evaluate things.  And I learned a lot about myself.  My ability to bounce back.  My ability to smile despite the things I've been through and the things I've seen.  My ability to hold on to hope.  And faith.  No matter what.

And because of everything I've been through, I'm a firm believer that every new day is an opportunity to change our lives.  Sometimes, it just takes awhile.  But every step we take is one step closer to where we want to be.  And even if where we want to be changes, that's okay.  Life is about change.  Every day is a different day. 

Anyhow, thought I'd start this new series on my blog called the "wish list."  Every Sunday, I'd post something new.  For inspiration.  I need visual inspiration.  So, here's my first set of the wish list:

wish list: 

the outfit

via prepfection

the ring

via ijeOma

travels

via pretty rosetta

vacation home

via nantucketyouth

+ the things that made me smile:

Background: I have young parents.  Well, they got married young.  Had kids young.  Got divorced young.  So, it was hard.  I feel as if we all had to grow up together.  For a long time, I felt as if I didn't have parents.  At least, the parents I imagined parents to be.  But this week, my parents became mom and dad: the two people I could count on to be there for me and to love me no matter what. 

My dad sent me this text last night: I don't want you to move away from me because that would break my heart. 

And today, my mom whispered to me: Don't worry.  It'll be okay. 

Those were enough to make me smile.  Those were enough to re-assure me that things will be okay.

the things that make us smile

I haven't done this in awhile.  But I still have a headache.  The kind that throbs in the back of my head when I close my eyes because I could feel it burning under my eyelids.  So, why not think of the things that make me smile?  I need it.  Hope it makes you smile, too.

Titanic is coming back!  3D!  I love this movie ... as cheesy, girly, and corny as that may sound.  But, there was just something magical about it.  I do believe that there are some people we meet who just changes our lives, even if they are in it only for a short while.  But their presence in our lives stays with us.  Our lives are never the same because they had touched it.

I love Tyler Knott's photographs and poems.  He's amazing.

But I especially love this one.  Something about it touches me much deeper.

Makes me smile even when it's sad.

And what really puts a smile on my face lately, my nature walks, the gems I've discovered in my own backyard, and beautiful skies.  (p.s. having fun with the camera ... BIG SMILES!)



And not to mention, clouds, clouds, clouds!!!

Puts a smile on my face anytime!

smile!

And he said ...

~ smile ~

p.s. I've had this song on repeat all morning.  U2 in the morning = happiness. :)  Hope you have a beautiful Thursday! 

Photo via



Friday smiles

It's been a long, long, long week.  And it'll be a long, long, long work-filled weekend.  But I came across this picture and it just made me smile.  Big smile. 

It's supposed to be a picture taken in Bern, Switzerland.

And when I saw this picture, and read where it was taken, it

brought me back to that little girl who was full of hopes and

dreams and passion and love and courage.

Once upon a time, I was supposed to go to Switzerland to dance.

Although the reason I didn't go was not my choosing, and in fact, I really

had no choice in the matter, it's still one of those things I regret.

But Jude went.  And I'm glad that at least he did.

At least he got to live that part of our dream for us.

I know that I'll go to Switzerland one day.

And although it most likely won't be to dance

in front of an auditorium filled with people,

I'll be thinking of dancing.

And I'll be thinking of Jude.

How once upon a time, we danced.

How once upon a time, I had a best friend

who loved me more than he loved the Beatles.

And how we spent summers drinking Kool-Aid, listening

to the radio waiting for the perfect moment to record

songs by Lionel Ritchie, Billy Ocean, and Stevie Wonder.

How he'd serenade me with Hello, I Just Called to Say I Love You,

and our favorite, Endless Love.

I've been thinking about Jude a lot lately.

Childhood best friends are ones that stay with you forever.

Because your love for each other is innocent, pure, and real,

with no agenda, expectations or obligations.

Just love.  For each other.

And each other's company.

Those are the best.

And now, I know, more than ever,

that when I get married,

I will be marrying my best friend.

You see, I can't marry anyone else,

unless he's my best friend.

For life.

And that made me smile.

Happy Friday!

Photo: timopfahl

Dreamy state

I'd like to be here right now, curled up in this swing ...

with the sky an illuminating blue ...

Just looking at this picture makes me smile.

Calms my racing mind.

A much-needed break.

Even for a few minutes.

Happy Tuesday, everyone!

(Or is it Tuesday?  Yep, it is!  Sorry, feels like a long week already.)

Anyhow, what are you dreaming about today?

Photo: iamblessed

the things that make us smile (Sept. 2011 edition)

It's been a long day already, but I still have a long way to go before my day at the office is over.  And although I told myself I would trudge on, and work straight through the night, I need to take this short break.

For my well-being.

Sometimes, we have to listen to our bodies.  Right now, my brain is telling me it cannot look at another report.  It cannot look at anymore disturbing things for awhile.  It needs happy thoughts.  It needs beautiful things.  It needs to be reminded that life is beautiful.  I haven't done this for awhile, so thought I'd give it what it needs: the things that make us smile series. 

I had a wonderful non-work weekend.  Got to spend time with people I love.  Saturday was just beautiful.  Friends and I spent the evening outdoors, had dinner by the pool, delicious grilled chicken and steak, and lots of wine.  It was lovely.  Beyond lovely.  I learned a lot about my very good friend's husband, who I spent the earlier part of the evening speaking to.  Funny how you can know someone for years, but not really know much about them.  I loved hearing about his life growing up in Scotland.  For some reason, I get along very well with foreigners, i.e. non-Americans.  I find them to be wonderful and fascinating people.  It's the reason why I love traveling.  How I wish I could do more of it. 

Then, Sunday I got to see my favorite kids who are growing up way too fast.  I love hearing them talk amongst each other, joke with one another, and especially, I love it when they talk to me about their lives.  It's such a privilege to have them trust me that way. 

And my Sunday became even lovelier when I got to see my sweet, charming friend (who I've mentioned a few times but let's just call him "Dex"...), and well, who I just absolutely adore.  I haven't seen him in months, and so, it was great catching up.  Even if it was only for a short while.  He makes me smile.  Those are always the best people to have around: someone who brings out the happy kid in you.  :)  I miss him already (which is the part I dislike the most).  I'm never one good with partings ...

So, let's move on to other things that put a smile to my face:

Lovely!  I love flowers. :)

photo: nobi*

Butterflies and cupcakes!  What more can I ask for?

photo: Shamima Desai

The always-changing (but constant) beautiful sky, and how it meets the ocean.

photo: angus clyne

     
And well, of course, text messages from my best friend.  That really made me smile.     

surprise?

my friend asked me today, how i was doing?

and without hesitation, i thought,

happy.

at peace.

happy.

happy like this blueberry crumb milkshake.

because c'mon, this just spells (smells) happy.

photo: foodpluswords

i love pink balloons.

make me smile.

make me happy.

let's be happy.

via weheartit

balloons kinda month

It's my birth month! 

I would normally say that without an exclamation.  Because while most people I know welcome the month of their birth with enthusiasm (and an excuse to celebrate the entire month), I usually greeted this month with sulky defiance.  Why?  Because it has always been a month of challenges for me.  Difficult challenges.  And despite my many efforts to give it a chance to redeem itself (since it is the month I was born), it insisted on daring me even more.  See how much I can take. 

But this year I feel differently.  I'm actually excited.  Not because I have any great plans or I'm expecting something special or magical to happen (because again, I can't remember the last time something especially fabulous happened in this month to serve as a happy birthday present).  But for the first time, in a long time, I just feel ... good.  About this month.

I feel it being a balloons kinda a month.  And if you know me, you know I just love balloons!   Balloons make me smile and happy like a little kid who is celebrating her birthday at the happiest place on earth.  And my happiest place on earth is anywhere filled with balloons.

So, happy July!  Here's to welcoming (and celebrating) this month with joyous anticipation.     

photo: weheartit

bouncing back.

Yummy!  Yummmmmyyy!!!

I know I've been quite a downer lately.  Sorry.  Not only have I been privy to the recent heartaches and disappointments of friends, but I've been going through my own disappointments.  And those heartbreaks can be a bummer.  A mood killer.  Just plain ol' sucky.  What better way to put it?

But I'm bounc-ing back.  Because I know that there's a reason for everything, and really, all things turn out for the best.  I believe that.  And as sucky as I've been feeling lately, there are still many things that make me smile ... like the yummy french toast and berries and bananas.  (Note: I tried to imitate the photo above, and although mine didn't turn out as pretty, it was quite yummy.  I just decided to post its inspiration because, like I said, it looks much more appetizing.)

And this post from positively present really made me smile today because I am one of those people that do believe in the science (or art) of being positive.

I also had a good run.  And a good cry.  But crying is good.  It cleanses the soul.  I also had a good ten minute meditation.  Reminded me to be centered, grounded and present: things happen for a reason.  Even though I don't understand it now.  This is good.   
 
And of course, yummmy, fruity, french toast.  Love it! :)    

So, things are not that bad.  Sometimes, it's just a matter of perspective.  Or sometimes, we do need a little jolt, a little push, to get back on track.  And sometimes, we just need to experience the bad to better appreciate the good. 

photo: Yusri Yusof

much needed smiles

Today was just one of those days ... pretty hard.  Had to tell someone something very difficult, had to face something really difficult, and well, it was all just very difficult.  So definitely, I needed things to make me smile. ...

So cute!  I want to come home to this puppy.
photo: via

When it's hard to tell where water and sky meet.  I want to be here.  Standing in that balcony.
Source: hullabeluga

Inspiration: Someday, one day ... I will host a dinner party like this one.  Maybe for my wedding. :)
Source: iamblessed

Need I say more?
Source: iamblessed

the things that make us smile

I write a lot when I'm sad.  Or when I just have a lot on my mind.  It helps me sort out my thoughts.  Express the feelings I cannot articulate otherwise.  Hence, a lot of recent posts from me.  If you've noticed, as well, I have this "things that make you smile" series.  Well, it's what helps me cope and move on.  Reminds me that there are things to smile about despite whatever circumstances are breaking my heart. 

Around this time last year was really difficult for me.  My great-aunt died unexpectedly and my stepfather was dying from cancer.  After letting this blog go for some time at the end of 2009 and beginning of 2010, I started writing again around this time.  When everything around me seemed to be standing on an unsteady platform. 

Hence, my pattern.  I write.

I still believe there are many things to smile about despite the heartaches life throws at us.  I do believe that it's important to move forward, and to not allow the bad things that happened to us or the things that hurt us define who we are.  I'm a firm believer in seeking out the things that make us happy.  Remember my last post of 2010?  I said I will choose to be happy.  I still choose to be happy.  

But I'm human.  And I feel.  I read somewhere a long time ago that we should never apologize for the way we feel because that is the one truth we have.  Our feelings.  There is nothing more real and true than what we are feeling.  I mean, we can try to rationalize our thoughts.  Compose ourselves - our behavior.  We can control the way we react to our feelings, but the feelings themselves are raw.  Not carefully composed or designed or organized.  Although feelings, those things that we feel at our core, deep inside, are sometimes difficult to define or explain or even (most often) unseen by others, they are real.  They exist.  They are true.            

But again, despite what I am feeling, I choose happiness.  And I seek out the things that make me smile, like the picture above.  Because like many things in life, good or bad, this too shall pass.  So, we can cry because it hurts, but we must also remember to smile.  And to choose happiness.   

photo: Diane Hammond

the things that make us smile

It's amazing what a change of focus (and a step back) does ...

A few days ago, I felt really sad.  Was disappointed by a certain situation, by a certain someone.  Although I know that he had no intention of disappointing me, he did.  And the thing was, I couldn't say anything about it.  Because I knew.  His situation.  It was the reason I didn't want to go out with him in the first place.  Because I knew I'd like him.  But I also knew, I would never really like his situation.  You know, all those strikes, remember?

So, although I knew all of that going in, I still felt down when it didn't quite go the way I had hoped.  But, like I said, it's amazing what a change of focus does ... and how stepping back helps us regain footing, and the perspective (the clarity) that was lost ... for a short while during the fall.

I am happy again.  Because I know that everything happens for a reason.  And this weekend, seeing and spending time with the people who matter, who I cherish and hold so dearly, really makes that little heartache seem not-so-bad at all.  And like I've said many times before, it's important to recognize the things that make us smile.  Because those are the things that make life beautiful.  However, I do also believe that heartache is important.  Without them, it's easy to take for granted those things (and those people) we love ... and bring a smile to our faces.   

Here's to celebrating the things that make us smile ...

... sappy movies with with my favorite guy:

I love Jake ... and Anne. :)

- via

... girl talk at my favorite Gelato Bar (and of course, delicious gelato always brings a smile to my face):

... coffee mugs ... and coffee mugs with (cheesy, but oh-so-sweet) hopeless romantic sayings:

i love coffee ... mugs. :)

- via

... smiling kisses ...:

- via

... this picture:

balloons at the beach and beautiful sunset.
what more can we ask for?

- via

... and ...

... always brings a smile to my face. :)

-via

Happy Memorial Day!!!  It's a beautiful California day! :)

the things that make us smile.

I've been up since 2 a.m.  Working.  Sometimes, it really amazes me how our brains can get things done so efficiently when it's determined and under pressure.  I know I should've finished the brief over the weekend.  But somehow the depressing subject matter was just a little too much for my brain.  I wanted happy thoughts.  Only happy thoughts this weekend.  So, I told myself that I would work on it after the weekend.  Like 6:00 p.m. Sunday evening.  Since my lovely Internet decided that it was going to die on Saturday evening anyway, why work, right?  So, I used the inability to connect as an opportunity to rest. 

However, 6 p.m. Sunday evening came and my brain was still in no work mode.  And to show me how much it was refusing to work, it pounded on my head until the nauseating pain was too much to bear.  Sleep was what it needed, my poor, tired brain demanded.  So, I gave in.  But only until 2 a.m.!  Because the brief was due today no matter what my brain demanded. 

Anyhow, I finished my brief.  Finally.  And it's gone.  Off to be filed.  Good riddance.  However, the stubborn, throbbing nuisance between my brows decided to stay.  Keep me company for awhile.  It still amazes me though how our brain works.  How it can will itself to do things.  Like right now, I'm willing it to just relax.  Happy thoughts once again.  The depressing subject matter that it had to work with has passed.  No matter what it just saw, no matter how bad some things are, there is goodness.  Goodness always prevails.  Remember that.   

And now since the brief is done, I thought that for my self-imposed lunch break, I'd share the things that make me smile.  Because, you see, I believe that there should always be something that makes us smile.  Everyday.  Every moment.  No matter how tired we are.  No matter how sad times may be.  I'm thankful that no matter how tough some days are, there are many things that bring a smile to my face.  And I hope that there are many things that bring a smile to yours.   

This picture of a yellow flower made me smile early this morning. 

I think it's just darling.

*photo via

And no matter how much I love bright colors, there is something about

white that brings a sense of peace and clarity of mind.  I love this picture.

*photo by Anna Inghardt

 The Notebook.  Always brings a smile to my face.  I especially love the part when Allie reads the letter that Noah wrote to her.  By the time that scene comes on, I'm already a sobbing mess.  No matter how many times I've seen it.  But at the same time, it makes me smile because I still believe there are loves like that. 

I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us.  I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real.  And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love.  The best kind of love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds.  And that's what you've given me.  That's what I hope to give you forever.  I love you.  I'll be seeing you. - Noah.

There are loves like that. 

And Tyler Knott's Daily Haiku on Love always makes me smile.  This one is my recent favorite:

                                  "The secret of love
                                   is to pull closer when you
                                  want to push away."

And Wednesday.  Never fails to make me smile.

I love this picture.

Tell me, what makes you smile?

smile wonders

 So, after my post this morning, my day was, well, the opposite of simple.  My intended productive day of working extra hard to meet those billable hours turned into a day of not meeting those billable hours.  But in the midst of my troubles (which resulted in unplanned additional expenses), I remembered what my grandfather used to tell me: always smile.  Smile even though it hurts.  Smile even though it's the last thing you want to do.  A smile will always make you feel better. 

And thus, that's what I did.  I smiled.  Laughed even.  And it really did wonders.  I felt better.  I didn't snap at the Staples manager for not having his computer tech around.  Instead I thanked him for spending half an hour with me trying to figure out what we could do to save my precious laptop.  (There are wonderful people out there!)  I even felt better to the point that I didn't mind running around town trying to find a computer techie ... somewhere!  Anywhere!  And well, thank you to the wonderful Staples staff for helping me with that, too.  I found my life saver.  Thank God for computer techies!

So, even though I was an hour behind my carefully planned schedule, the day didn't turn out to be too bad.  In fact, it was beautiful.  I realized that computer geniuses are wonderful gifts to this world.  That people are always willing to help.  And that smiling through a stressful and frustrating situation can make finding a solution a much more pleasant experience ... for me and for those around me.

And well, if my laptop didn't go haywire, I would not have had to wait around for it to be fixed, and I would not have had the opportunity to play around with my camera.  I would have completely missed the cloud-filled blue sky.  And the picture-opportunity moment.  So, let's just say (between you and me) it was a fun and worthwhile wait!

And well, for some more FUN ...