Desert Trip

I've always prided myself as being a city girl.  I LOVE the big city.  All the lights, the noise, the people, and the busy-ness of it all.  I feel alive in the big city.  I feel at home.  In my element. 

But this year, I took several trips to the desert.  And during my last trip not too long ago, I found myself drawn to the tranquility of the desert days and nights.  I fell in love with the night sky filled with stars and the sound of the whispering wind.  I felt a different kind of home. 

S, my oldest, best-est friend, asked me if I'd move there.  To the desert.  Well, actually, she said, I should move there.  With no question mark.  And when I saw the look on her face, that she really missed me, I couldn't lie to her: I'd have to have a good reason to.  Not that being closer to my oldest, best friend isn't a good reason, but I have my career and my family and my whole life in the city. 

But, I'd consider it, I told her. 

You see, I've always imagined myself living in two different places.  I just thought those two different places would be Los Angeles and New York.  I'd practice law in Los Angeles.  And I'd write and teach in New York.  I know people who do it.  And I told myself, one day, I will, too. 

But, then, I wouldn't mind writing in the desert either.  Something in the calm spoke to my heart.  My soul.  And touched a part of me that I didn't know existed.  Even the thunder and lightning (that freaked me out) gave me a jolt of inspiration. 

Plus, I love the drive there.  And if I could love that, then, I'm not quite the city girl I claim to be.  Here are some shots from my recent drive to and from the desert ... (I know I shouldn't be taking pictures, but I can't help not capturing the beautiful sky and scenic view.)       

Love it! :)

So, S said I could use her spare room.  Turn it into my office or writing space.  She's trying.  And I was touched.  I told her I'll come back in a couple of weeks.  Try it out and do some writing.  If I'm able to write two chapters, I might just take her up on her offer.  

New adventures are good.  Right?  And sometimes, even when we have no intention of going somewhere, we find ourselves there, and surprise ourselves.    

     

On being in love. Again.

Last weekend, my girlfriends and I took a roadtrip.  To Vegas.

It was supposed to be a wild-and-oh-so-silly-crazy-bachelorette-weekend.

But we were as tamed as Catholic school girls can be on a field trip with chaperoning nuns.

(meaning: we tried to act wild, but just couldn't do it.)

(We were silly though.  And well, crazy is arbitrary.)

Nonetheless, we had loads of FUN!

I believe girl time is always needed.

We didn't talk about work,

which was surprising, but oh-what-a-relief!

We hardly talked about men,

which was also surprising, but oh-so-refreshing, too!

I just have so many favorite moments from the weekend,

but what I really, really loved - was the drive to Vegas.

It was just me and my very-good-friend-twice-roommate.

It has been over a decade since she and I had taken a roadtrip

together.  But as we talked about life as it is,

and reminisced about life as it was,

I remembered why we were good friends.

(Have been since the tenth grade.)

Complete opposites. 

And thus, life definitely took us on different paths.

But we got each other then.  And we still get each other now.

And even when we don't, we listen to each other.

And I found, that's what matters.

The thing about being around old friends,

we are reminded about the old us.

And reminders of the old us

are the best measure of growth.

By the end of the weekend, I realized

that I really am in love.  Again.

This time with life.  As it is.

And being in love with life

is being in love with everyone and everything in it.

I'm in love with my nephew's voice,

and his laugh and his silly ideas.

I'm in love with the way

my brother always texts me in the middle

of the day with his quirky jokes.

(Father and son are more alike than they realize.)

I'm in love with the way my mom

loves life no matter how hard it has been for her.

I'm in love with the fact that I can work from

anywhere (Internet is the best!),

(but I still try to make it into the office earlier than everyone else).

I'm in love with ice cream at 3pm.

I'm in love with the way my friends and I can

smile (or smirk or frown) at each other and know exactly

what we are thinking.

I'm in love with text kisses and hugs and <3s

that bring a big smile to my face (and tingle to my heart)

anywhere I may be or whatever I may be doing.

I'm in love with the way the wind feels against my face,

the way coffee tastes in the morning, and the fact

that Criminal Minds comforts me and keeps me company.

Life is funny, I told my friend.

Everyday, every moment can bring new surprises.

"Our lives can change with every breath we take."

(By the way, that's from a movie - Where the Heart Is.)

But, I believe it.

So, I told her, your life can change, too.

My life certainly did.

You've seen that.

You knew me then.

Who would have ever guessed I'd be in love with life?

p.s. I'm in love with the peanut butter malted milkshake depicted above.  Yum!

Photo: food+words

Serendipity

This weekend reminded me of this word.  And, of the movie.  But, it's really the word that's relevant since I didn't meet John Cusack or anyone that even closely resembles him.  But, I was struck with this word.  All weekend.

The Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary defines serendipity as: the faculty of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for. 

I realized this weekend that I've had quite a lot of those in my life, and too often, they had been left unnoticed or unappreciated.  

But this weekend, I noticed them.  I appreciated them.  I celebrated them.  And, I even added a few to my list.

Over breakfast today, as my friend questioned why certain inexplicable things happen, I told her that after asking that same question over and over again, I finally learned to accept that I do not know and will never know what the next day will bring.  And that the things or people that make me smile today may make me cry tomorrow.  So, I decided I would simply enjoy everyday.  And what I'm finding is that life is full serendipitous moments ...

Like this ...

p.s. I was reminded of this post I wrote about three years ago ... and, I am in love again.

Photo: Nhan Ngo

lovin' it all!

Did you know that July is National Ice Cream Month?

No wonder I love ice cream!!!

Anyhow, I'm still a little tired from my two-day business trip.

But nothing yoga and a good hearty breakfast couldn't fix.

Now, I feel refreshed.

And guess what???

I got a raise!

Isn't that awesome?

I opened the envelope.

And there it was.

My pleasant surprise.

Things aren't bad.

Not at all.

Around this time last month

I was sorta heartbroken,

from what I can recall.

Remember?

But now, I'm just lovin' it all.

My life.  My friends.  My family.

Ice cream.

My job.

Chocolate.

Yoga.

My spinach and red onions omelet.

Home.

And that heart text message from a special someone.

Sometimes, we just have to ride out the bad.

And never lose sight of the big picture.

Never stop appreciating each moment

of our lives.

Good or bad.

But definitely enjoy the good.

Relish it.

Sometimes, bad things happen

to make us better appreciate the good.

Sometimes, we need to get our hearts broken

to recognize (and realize) what is really love.

By the way, my new blog obsession: food + words.

Love it!

Of course!

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

p.s. I'll be working.  And although I don't mind it so much, I'm in that so-happy mood that a BIG part of me wishes I just splurged, and took that weekend trip to the desert. :)  Besides, I did get a raise!  Oh well, I'll still enjoy this weekend for all it has to offer.  Smile! 

Photo: food + words

surprise?

my friend asked me today, how i was doing?

and without hesitation, i thought,

happy.

at peace.

happy.

happy like this blueberry crumb milkshake.

because c'mon, this just spells (smells) happy.

photo: foodpluswords

unexpected.

"want to see"

it was supposed to be just one date. 

with someone she knew (or she believed) she would never consider a future with.

"he had all the strikes," she said.  "three and more."

then, the first date: she found herself not wanting it to end.

"okay, i'll just have fun.  it won't hurt, right?"  (that's how it begins.) 

she didn't expect to feel this way.

i guess, that's how the best things in life are ... when you have no expectations at all.  and then wham!  you're hit with the wonderfulness of it.

i guess, sometimes, our hearts know before our minds ... that we're feeling something for a certain someone.  but, i guess that's how love works.  it just happens.  sometimes (oftentimes), unexpectedly.

she didn't think she'd feel this way. 

but now, all she wants is to tell him, "i want to see you.  i just want to see you."

photo via

all i know

Today, I think God was sending me a message about "uncertainty".  Let's just say, I started the day by reading my favorite blogs, which is quite routine, but the unusual thing was that the posts were all about uncertainty.  Laura even titled her post: "uncertainty".  (And see Brenda's post here, which the theme happens to be uncertainty.) 

Even my horoscope talked about uncertainty, and used the word uncertainty:  "Exciting travel is in your near future, although it might not be the same journey you had planned.  Let go of your organizational nature and try to let this new adventure unfold naturally.  Give control over to fate.  Things may not be too clear for quite awhile, but you don't have to try to make them clear.  Simply live with the uncertainty.  In some circles, 'uncertain' is just another word for 'spontaneous.'  Incorporate more chance and fate into how you live your life."

Ok, I know it sounds a little absurd to believe or read too much into this horoscope stuff, but still ... I just can't help but find it quite meaningful (?) that my day started with three messages about uncertainty.  And, I know it's silly to think that God is sending me a message through my horoscope, but still ... again ... I can't help but think about the theme of the day: uncertainty.

I guess all of this would make more sense if you knew the background to why all of this seems a little too coincidental - or intentional (?) - to me.  Well, last night, I was thinking about uncertainty.  And I was thinking about how much it drives me a little crazy.  I have this tendency to get ahead of myself and want to predict the ending of a story.  Even my own stories.  In my own life.  But the thing is, life is uncertain.  I just have quite a track record with being impatient when it comes to that uncertainty. 

But not to be too hard on myself, I should say, that I have become better with being patient.  With the future.  With the unknowns.  With uncertainty.  It doesn't mean it still doesn't drive me a little crazy, but I have learned to let go more ... and appreciate the moment.  I mean, this is what this whole blog has been about: finding joy in every moment.  Being in the moment.  In this moment.

So, maybe the messages were reminders.  Because honestly, I have become quite impatient as of late.  And as of late, I've started making my own predictions (again) of certain outcomes in my life.  To be particular, certain outcomes of certain relationships.  But the thing is, I don't know.  I really don't.  Right now, I don't have enough information to know.  And life is full of surprises.  I can feel differently about a situation a year from now.  Who knows?  There is only one thing I really know for sure about the future: I want to be happy.

- via

i love awesome!

these heart-shaped, happy face flowers are pretty awesome.

yes, i'm promoting neil pasricha's book - the book of awesome.  i've had his blog saved on my favorites list for awhile now, but honestly, wasn't aware that the book had come out until a special someone and i walked into urban outfitters and he said, this book is pretty awesome.  so, he purchased it and we looked through it over coffee.  that's when i asked him, what do you think is awesome?

you see, i love awesome!  aside from amazing, it's my next favorite word.  so, i was really excited when i looked through the book.  because awesome things make me happy.  and it was exciting that someone (many people) out there feel the same way.   

sitting in coffee bean at that moment was ... pretty awesome.   

after my very difficult 2010, after losing loved ones unexpectedly and too soon, i vowed to always seek out happy and amazing (and awesome) things around me.  i've learned that despite heartache and loss and disappointment, there is always something to smile about ... if you only take the time to notice it (them).

did i mention that sitting in coffee bean, reading the book of awesome, with someone i was finding to be pretty awesome, was REALLY awesome (amazing)? 

that moment when you look at someone, and discover, awww i think like this, that is awesome.  an awesome feeling!

what do you find awesome?  let's make it a challenge.  write one awesome thing from your day.  for the next 30 days.  see what you discover.  what you learn. 

and if you want some ideas, check out neil pasricha's books: the book of awesome and the book of (even more) awesome.  Enjoy! 

i love awesome!  life is awesome!  you are awesome!

photo = mine :)

amazing life.

*photo via

I'm a busy body with a multi-tasking addiction.  A workaholic, who is feeling pretty burnt out these days.  A busy body, multi-tasking, workaholic who recently noticed that lately, she has not been very productive because it has been taking double the time to finish a task.  No wonder I was working extra extra hours.  

So, after admitting that I may (do) have a problem, I decided, I need a change.  I need to change.  My lifestyle.  I need to stop and ... breathe.  Stop and look around.  Stop and think.  Stop and feel.  Stop and breathe.  

And it's been one week.  One week of no Criminal Minds (or any television shows) to keep me company while I washed the dishes or cooked or blog.  One week of only eating while I ate, meaning no television, no Internet, no books while I had a fork in my hand.*  And one week of paying attention to what it is that helps me clear my head -- to what brings me joy and peace of mind. 

I finally turned on my little fountain after four years of silence.  Vanilla-scented candles always bring me comfort and warmth, so I'm sure to always have them around.  And watching a movie, while only watching the movie, is quite a liberating experience.  I saw The Proposal last night.  I laughed and cried so hard.  It felt amazing.

So, I start week 2 tomorrow.  I can't wait.  I can't wait to discover what other amazing things there are.  But before I get ahead of myself and start wondering about tomorrow, I'm going to log off, and get ready for the amazing thing that awaits me in 15 minutes: Brothers and Sisters.  

Then, a good night sleep.  Sweet dreams!  

*Okay, this was especially difficult and I relapsed a couple of times, but not for very long.        

Letters to Juliet (disclaimer: there may be spoilers!)

I was hesitant to watch this movie.  I just haven't been in the mood for hopeless romantic fantasy-films, and well, this one just seemed to have such an impossible story line that I couldn't even grasp the idea of watching it.  I'm all for fiction, but when it comes to stories about traveling around with a stranger in a foreign country and falling in love with that person in a matter of days, I'm a hard sell.* 

C'mon.  A girl finds a letter from fifty years ago written to Juliet, answers it, and ends up going on a road trip with the aged author of the letter and her grandson to find the aged woman's lost love.  How realistic is that?  Wasn't she afraid that they were crazy lunatics and could've killed her along the way?  Okay, I sound quite cynical.  I can be sometimes.  It comes with the day (and night) job.  

But I was willing to give the movie a chance.  Until she falls in love with the grandson!  And he falls in love with her!  C'mon.  C'mon.  Really?  Is it really that easy?**

Yet to my surprise (who am I kidding? - surprise), I liked the movie.  And yes, as I suspected (expected), it is the kind of movie that enable hopeless romantics to persevere.  The kind of movie that feeds the hearts of hopeless romantics with so much hope and dreams and all that true love stuff.  All the stuff that I wasn't really in the mood for.  But there I was, falling for it ... the movie and its message.  About true love.  I even got teary-eyed as I folded my laundry and watched the aged Claire look for her Lorenzo.***  Ah! 

And it was this part that sealed it for me ... when Claire read the letter that Juliet (Sophie) wrote.  Because even though this story about the search for true love is as far from realistic as Cinderella-and-her-glass-slippers story,**** I believe what "Juliet" wrote in this letter is true.

Dear Claire,

"What" and "If" are two words as non-threatening as words can be.  But put them together, side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life.  "What if?"  "What if?"  "What if?"  I don't know how your story ended but I know that if what you felt then was love - "true love", then it's never too late.  If it was true love then, why wouldn't it be true now?  You need only the courage to follow your heart. 

I don't know what a love like Juliet's feels like; a love to leave loved ones for, a love to cross oceans for.  But I'd like to believe if I ever were to feel it, that I'd have the courage to seize it.  And Claire, if you didn't, I hope one day that you will.

All my love,

Juliet

*Okay, I love "The Notebook," but they spent a summer together so they're hardly strangers.  And that was supposed to be real!  Right?

**Yeah.

**Okay, I was crying mid-laundry-folding, but ... how can you not cry?  Fifty years is a long time to wonder and wait!

***Cinderella is the fairytale of all fairytales.  But shh, I still love it!

*photo via weheartit