Lucky

"How lucky I am to have something that makes

saying goodbye so hard."

(-A.A. Milne)

photo: jamie {74}

on repeat.

I've posted this song before.  But it doesn't hurt to post it again, right?

Home + what I have

Down the 101

You never know what you've got until it's gone, isn't that how the saying goes?  Or how about, you knew exactly what you had but you just never thought you'd lose it?  (I posted that awhile back.)   

The point is that we don't always appreciate what we have until at the point of loss.  Ever since high school, I've been wanting to leave Los Angeles.  Live somewhere else.  Far away.  But, every time the idea of moving away becomes a close or possible reality, I realize how much I love this place.  And I can't imagine leaving.  So, I don't. 

Anyhow, what triggered all of this?  Well, I had been thinking (again) of re-locating.  For a little while.  A change of city.  A different state.  Then, the thought came, how can I leave this city?  Like I said, it happens all the time.  But still, I haven't foreclosed the idea.  I told myself I'd be open to it.  And see where life takes me.  For awhile.  But I know, that no matter what, Los Angeles will always be home.    

And no matter where life takes me, it will be where I come back to.  Always.  It's where my heart is.  I know that now.  And I promise to never forget it.  Never forget what I have.     

Inspiration and the sky

Want to know a secret?

I'm fascinated with the sky.  It inspires me.  And clouds that fill the sky has always had an unfailing ability to perk me up.  All.  The.  Time.  No.  Matter.  What. 

I think that's why I fell in love with Europe.  When I think of Spain, I remember umbrellas of clouds in varying shapes and sizes.  I felt like I was in heaven.  The way I always imagined heaven to look like.

So, thought I'd share some pics that make me smile.  (Remember, I live in Los Angeles, and as much as I love this city, it is known for, yep, it's that word =SMOG= so I savor every bit of cloud I can get.) 

down the 405

i love the blue!

office view: on a Monday afternoon

Happy Tuesday, everyone!!! 

(And 3 more days until the writing retreat.  I can't wait!!!)

something is telling me that

And that's why riding out the bad days, those melancholy phases in life, when our hearts are overflowing with tears, is worth it.  Nothing more heavenly than sunshine after the rain.  Nothing more beautiful (and magical) than the rainbow that follows.  

via

Your (heart's) voice.

Find it.

Claim it.

Share it.

I think for a living.  I get paid to review, analyze, and argue.  Based on facts.  Based on law.  There's no room for feelings.  It doesn't matter if the facts makes me uneasy.  Or sad.  It doesn't matter if the issue's legal precedence makes me angry. 

I'm supposed to think.  Analyze.  Argue. 

Not feel.

But the voice that comes from the mind speaks differently from the voice that comes from the heart.  The mind has the ability to spring back and leap forward.  The heart stays present.    

Who are you? he asked.  Tell me who you are.  Not who you think you should be.  I want to know your heart.  How you feel.  Not what you think you should be feeling. 

She closed her eyes.

I miss you.  I miss you.  I miss you. 

Photo by Margaret Morrissey



And he said ...

~ smile ~

p.s. I've had this song on repeat all morning.  U2 in the morning = happiness. :)  Hope you have a beautiful Thursday! 

Photo via



Friday morning message

"God allows us to experience the low points of life

in order to teach us lessons that we could learn

in no other way."

(- C.S. Lewis.)

Happy Friday, beautiful people!

Hope you embrace this day

for there won't be another one just like it.

So, let's live every moment.  With a smile.  :)

And thank you for reading.

You inspire me everyday.

But, honestly, you've been awfully quiet.

So, drop me a line.

Love hearing from you!

p.s. I love Halloween!  How are you celebrating this weekend?  What are you going to be?   

Photo: Brendan O

something to be thankful for

... even on days like today,

when I just want to curse attorneys and legislators for

drafting confusing statutes, codes and rules, that make my brain

do cartwheels, and then, left feeling like an overcooked, 

"twirly-twist" pasta at the end of the day.

There is always, always, always something to be thankful for, right?

Like a healthy delivery for my dear friend of her beautiful twin girls.

There is always something to be thankful for.

Even law school.

It warned me.

About days (many days) like this.

You see, on the first day of law school, they warn you,

that by your third year,

the sky will no longer appear blue.

Because a part of our training (law school) is 

to question everything -

and to find that everything is subject to interpretation.

Things are no longer simple.

Thus, the sky is no longer blue.

It is either shades of blue or gray or neither

because it really is just a mirror for the ocean, and thus,

only appears blue (or gray or neither).

Anyhow, since the majority of my day is spent twisting and turning

my brain to form the perfect (or most logical) argument for my case,

I try to simplify everything else in my life.

I no longer sit around trying to figure out what people mean when they say

(or not say) things.  I just take what they say or do (or not say or do) at face value. 

I'm too tired for coded messages.

(p.s. This was on my mind because my girlfriends are always,

always questioning, analyzing, doubting, a certain someone's

actions.  And really?  I'm too tired to participate in that.) 

Because everyday life is not to be analyzed and interpreted.

It is to be lived.

And I'm thankful that I can still do that.

Even on days like this.

Even on nights like tonight.

Because tonight will be a long, long night.

So, I am thankful that I can even take breaks like this to relax my poor, tired brain.

Have a wonderful Wednesday night!

(I will.  Even if it's in front of the computer analyzing jumbled legal jargon.)

Photo: Just Be Splendid

the reason

We do get over it.

You know, that heartache that

squeezed your insides so hard

you couldn't breathe.

That heartache that made

you feel paralyzed.

We do get over it.

You know, that loss that

left you feeling hollow and empty.

You do get over it.

If you try.

If you believe.

Because, sometimes, the things that hurt us the most

has a way of turning out to be best thing that happened to us.

* * *

I tried to work on my book today.

I wrote two sentences.

But I read through pages and pages of journal

entries, old blog posts, and scribbles of half-attempts

at poetry that I had written in the last eight years.

So, I wasn't that unproductive.

There is a lot of learning

 from past loves, past ideas,

past mistakes, and

past broken hearts.

And, I decided to write a completely different story.

You see, sometimes we start off with one goal:

get over the heartache.

But we end up somewhere else:

in love.

I saw him the other night.

He played the guitar while I listened.

And as I watched and listened to him play,

I thought, you're the reason.

The reason it couldn't work out with him.

You were the reason before we even met.

Because I had to meet you.

I don't know how our story will end,

but I am sure of one thing.

I'm glad we met.

(written a long, long time ago

for a boy i met at a halloween party ... long, long ago.)

Photo: Dara Russell

Dreamy state

I'd like to be here right now, curled up in this swing ...

with the sky an illuminating blue ...

Just looking at this picture makes me smile.

Calms my racing mind.

A much-needed break.

Even for a few minutes.

Happy Tuesday, everyone!

(Or is it Tuesday?  Yep, it is!  Sorry, feels like a long week already.)

Anyhow, what are you dreaming about today?

Photo: iamblessed

A little break time

I.  Am.  Exhausted.

Been running on empty for the last couple of days.

So busy running from place to place that I couldn't find

the time to eat ... and subsequently, would forget to eat

until the end of the day when I just couldn't run function anymore.

Not.  Very.  Good.

I.  Need.  A.  Vacation.

I want to go to a foreign country.  Or get lost in

a big city.  Just wander around throughout the day.

And sleep all night.  Sleep.  Sleep.  Sleep.

Talk about sleep.

I had plans to meet up with friends last night.

But I was so tired that it was hard to breathe.

My body just didn't want to get up anymore.

So, instead, I slept.  And it was the best sleep I've had in

a very long, long time.

We all need a break.  Right?

I guess, the extra hours of work each the day so I can have

my Saturdays off has finally caught up to me.

But a 14-16 hours work day, everyday, five days a week,

can do that to just about anyone.

The other day, I had a meeting in a different county,

and was on the road for a total of 6 hours.

I could've gone to Phoenix.

Or Vegas.

Or maybe even San Francisco.

With all that time.

I.  Was.  Exhausted.

But I will enjoy my day.  Off.  No plans.

Just going with wherever this day takes me.

And if it's right back to bed to sleep,

that's where I'll be.

Happy Saturday, everyone!!!

Have a fabulous three-day weekend!

Happy Labor Day!

(I should be saying that to myself, and not work all weekend.)

(Now, that would be a little crazy ... but quite the plan!)

Photo: Mar Mirantes

some random realizations (or not so random ... or not even a realization)

It's been an exhausting couple of days.  Haven't been getting much sleep no matter how early I try to make it to bed.  Somehow, a phone call or two, or another email that needed a reply, just kept getting in the way of my much-needed sleep.

But, today, in my sleep-deprived state, I learned something.  I no longer need coffee.  I want coffee.  I still love coffee.  But I no longer need coffee.  I don't know when it happened.  When my dependency on the tasty-caffeinated drink stopped.  But, somehow, somewhere, some-when, it did.  And although it made me a little sad, and even a little nostalgic, I thought, it was a good thing.  To not need it anymore.  In that case, I drink it because I want to not because I need to.  And in that case, I appreciate it more.  Embrace and savor each and every sip, and each and every moment I hold the coffee cup in my hands (instead of just mindlessly gulping it while I pray that it wakes me up). 

So, how about that for progress?

Another thing I realized today: I want to be a photographer.

And well, while we're in the topic of realizations, here's a few (random) more:
I look forward to text messages from my nephew.  It makes any time of day ten times better.  I love receiving <3 text messages from a someone I adore.  It makes me smile no matter what state or mood I may be in.  I really love my brothers.  They are the biggest part of my world.  I love pictures (yes, I already mentioned I want to be a photographer!).  No matter how exhausting it can be, I still love the practice of law.  I still love coffee (I just needed to repeat that!).  And I'm happy.  :)

Hope you all enjoyed your Wednesday!  (And did I mention, I just love the name Wednesday!)

Photo: annie.manning {paint the moon}                     

i fancy the socks! and the quote, too. :)

I want a pair of these!

And I thought the quote is so-fitting for my current state of (heart) mind.

I was (and still am) so moved by One Day that I can't stop thinking about it.

I can't stop gushing about it to everyone I speak to.

It's a story that will stay with you, I tell my secretary.

It'll make you laugh.  Make you cry. 

Oh, definitely make you cry.

 

Made me cry.

And has definitely stayed with me.

Anyhow, have another long night at the office.

After last night's inspiration, I made a resolution (promise to myself)

that I will try, try, TRY not to work on weekends.  Anymore.

So, if my body allows it, I'll just work longer hours during the week,

and take the weekends off. 

To enjoy. 

The sun.

Write poems.  Take pictures.

Go for walks.  Swim.

Laugh with friends.

Have wine over breakfast.

Write.  My.  Book.

So, I will do that.  :)

On a completely different note, I want a traveling buddy.

All of my good friends are married, and thus, a little difficult to travel with.

(And my single friends ... well, I wouldn't travel with them.  Done that.)

I want a traveling-adventure-buddy ...

someone I can laugh with, be silly with,

have serious talks with, and be silent with.

Someone uber-awesome.

Some place uber-pretty.

Maybe Chicago.

Skyscrapers by the water.

Inspired already! :)

Photo source: ashappyaskings

Quite a ...!

 It's been a long day ... and night!  I could use this:

Banana chocolate chip cookies and banana chocolate milkshake.

I know we don't see the bananas, but I trust they are there.

And tomorrow is another day. :)

Photo: food+words

lost weekends.

I want to do this.  Right about now.

I think I had forgotten how it was to work all weekend.  The last few weekends of playtime somehow gave me temporary amnesia, and erased the memory of weekend worktime from my brain.  Even my body refused to be in workmode. 

So, let's just say that working this weekend was quite a struggle.  Yesterday was just lovely.  The weather was perfect. Warm.  With a cool breeze.  Sunny.  Oh, just so beautiful.  So, I kept looking out my window, and thinking, I rather be out there.  Doing anything else other than reading these transcripts.  But I forced myself to stay put, allowing myself only THIS as my sense of escape. 

And a nice walk at sunset.     

I love walks around the neighborhood.  Getting to know all the houses, and the trees, and the flowers.  I think people's front lawns say a lot about them.  So, it's like getting to know my neighbors, as well. 

I've been doing a lot of walking lately.  Helps clear my mind in a different way than running did.  Although I miss running, walking gives a different type of peace.  And escape.

It was a long work week.  And a long work weekend.  Sometimes, I wonder why I decided to work on my own.  Take on all the responsibilities.  All by myself. 

But, then, being able to work by the pool on Tuesday mornings may have something to do with that.  :)

Hope you all enjoy your Sunday.  If you're in my neighborhood, it's already beautiful outside.  Go and have fun!  Drive with the windows down and feel the wind!

Photo via A Well Traveled Woman    

heaven on earth

Super-BUSY so don't have much time to blog tonight.

But I came across this and just had to share.

Perhaps, it'll put a smile on your face, too.

Oreo + marshmallows = HEAVEN 

Photo: Raspberri Cupcakes

Serendipity

This weekend reminded me of this word.  And, of the movie.  But, it's really the word that's relevant since I didn't meet John Cusack or anyone that even closely resembles him.  But, I was struck with this word.  All weekend.

The Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary defines serendipity as: the faculty of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for. 

I realized this weekend that I've had quite a lot of those in my life, and too often, they had been left unnoticed or unappreciated.  

But this weekend, I noticed them.  I appreciated them.  I celebrated them.  And, I even added a few to my list.

Over breakfast today, as my friend questioned why certain inexplicable things happen, I told her that after asking that same question over and over again, I finally learned to accept that I do not know and will never know what the next day will bring.  And that the things or people that make me smile today may make me cry tomorrow.  So, I decided I would simply enjoy everyday.  And what I'm finding is that life is full serendipitous moments ...

Like this ...

p.s. I was reminded of this post I wrote about three years ago ... and, I am in love again.

Photo: Nhan Ngo

havens

Photo: Espacio Vital

I want a nook like this.

So, I can crawl in it right now.  And sleep.

I've only had a 2-hour nap in the last 37 hours.

(So glad I had a lovely weekend. 

Though as predicted, I'm paying for it.)

Surprisingly, my head is not pounding.

I even visited two clients today.

And I did not lose my temper nor my patience.

But I'm tired.

I want to sleep.

In a nook.

Then, wake up and read a book.

Here.

Photo via

But, of course, what would really be nice,

fabulous even,

is this:

Photo via

Bali, take me away!

I must sleep!

A lot accomplished, which always feels amazing!

Thus, I should sleep well.

And dream about Bali.

Good night!

lovely

Yesterday was just lovely!

Life is so much better when you love,

and allow yourself to be loved.

I got to spend time with those I wanted to spend time with.

And those I didn't see didn't seem too far away.

I am grateful.

Thank you!!!

<3 <3 <3

Photo: Ronaldo Cabuhat