A Storied Life: A useful advice + a short confessional

Day 3 of Blogtember: Pass on some useful advice or information you learned and always remembered.

Hi, my name is Mae, and I'm a Felicity fanatic.

Please don't judge me by this, but the thing that came to mind when I thought about writing this post was Felicity. The TV show. I think I've said it here before (or at least alluded to it) that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that show. In the present tense. It doesn't matter that it ended eleven years ago. I own the DVDs for all four seasons (and have watched it more times than I want to admit). And now with Netflix, I don't even need to be at home to watch it.

Okay, I know it seems like I'm digressing but bear with me. There is a point to this that addresses today's topic. I promise. But first, I have the need to give a little background story.

The four years the show aired was the four years I lived with my college/post-college/beginning of law school boyfriend. Ex, now. We moved in together a couple of weeks after Felicity first aired, and I moved out five months after the show ended. And it wasn't an easy relationship - my ex and I. Living together made it even tougher. But, Felicity got me through those four years. (Don't worry, I didn't stay in a bad relationship because of the show. The timing was just impeccable.) I never missed an episode - even when I was in law school and hardly watched any television - I watched Felicity. I lived vicariously through her (yes, I know, she's a fictional character - let's forget that part). But, I thought she was living my dream, and when times were bad with the ex, I escaped to Felicity's world. It was my therapy, and a very affordable one.

Okay, now that I'm done with the background story, here's the advice that I got from the show - that stuck with me: "Don’t throw away an opportunity to become a more interesting person out of fear."

That advice was given to Felicity by her counselor, Dr. Pavone (my favorite chain-smoking character). If you're not familiar with the show, let me offer some context (don't worry, if you want to watch the show, I won't give away what happened after). So, here it goes: Felicity just got back together with Ben (her soul mate, love of her life, the guy she followed to New York), and was excited about spending the summer with him in Palo Alto (where they are both from). But, her art history professor offered her an internship to work at a museum in New York (it was supposed to be a once-in-a-lifetime-kind-of-opportunity), which meant, she wouldn't be with Ben, who had a summer job waiting for him in Palo Alto. And that's when Dr. Pavone said, "Don't throw away an opportunity to become a more interesting person out of fear." "Fear?" Felicity asked. "Of losing Ben," Dr. Pavone answered.

So, that's the advice that stuck with me.

Because, you see, I had an opportunity to study in Spain for a semester during my senior year of college. I didn't go. I'm ashamed to admit, I was afraid to lose my boyfriend. The same boyfriend I had a "not-so-easy" relationship with. I won't dwell too much on that, but let's just say, I regretted not going. I regretted it for a long, long time. And when times were especially hard with him, I resented him for it. Yes, that wasn't fair, but I really wanted to go to Spain. So, when Dr. Pavone gave Felicity that advice, it struck a chord with me.

Felicity's response was: "That’s not why I turned down the internship. I just, I’m choosing to be with Ben. That’s just what I want to do this summer."

And that's when Dr. Pavone told her: "An opportunity like this internship does not come around very often and if you and Ben are gonna work this out, and I hope you do ‘cause I love that kid, then you’ll be there for each other long after this opportunity has come and gone. That’s what love is about."

I wish someone had told me that. (Dr. Pavone's advice came a couple years too late for me.)

But that's why after my ex and I broke up, and well, after I took the Bar exam (because I had to do that first), I went to Spain. I spent a month in Europe, and went to all the places I had always wanted to go to. At the time I was seeing someone, and again, it was new, we were at this pivotal point in our relationship, and I was scared that if I went away for a month, he'd forget me. I know, he thought that was silly, too, but I couldn't help it, I was afraid of that. But, I was also afraid that if I didn't go, and I didn't go on my own (meaning without him - the new guy), I'd regret it. So, I went.

And, so did he. But apart.

And it was the best decision I made. I don't think, in fact, I know, it had nothing to do with why we're not together right now. That's a whole other story.

So, don't throw away an opportunity to become a more interesting person out of fear. It speaks volumes, right? Take risks. Live life. What is meant to be will be.