On letting go.

I can't believe that the Glee season finale made me cry.  But it did just that.  As Finn let Rachel go, I cried along with her. 

I'm such a sap.

But I know how young loves can be.  And it sucks sometimes because we want it to work, so much, but even our young minds know that sometimes, we must let go. 

When I was eight years old, I met the boy I thought I would one day marry.  (Remember the boy I refer to as Jude because of his favorite Beatles song?)  Well, I thought I was going to marry Jude.  Don't worry, I didn't think I was going to marry him at eight years old.  It took a few years before I thought of him and marriage.  Actually, it was in the fifth grade, when he introduced me to his dad as the girl he was going to someday marry.  I know, I know, so Sweet Home Alabama.

But our ending was different.  We never got married.  We never even dated.  But in the fifth and sixth grade, we were best friends.  And we remained friends throughout junior high and high school.  Until the end of my junior year when he told me that we couldn't be friends anymore.

You see, I told him I wanted to help him get his life back on track, go back to school, stop hanging out with gangs and doing drugs.  By that time, Jude was homeless, just going from one (bad) friend's house to another.  (I didn't really approve of his so-called friends who only got him in even more trouble.)  I wanted my mom to take him in and have him live with us.  I wanted to take care of him. 

But he said no. 

Then, he made a promise - that he would not speak or contact me until he was back in school and his life was in order.  Out of trouble.  So that he wouldn't bring any trouble to me. 

I cried.  And cried. 

But, even during his most troubled times, Jude knew what was best for me.  And even though he knew it hurt me, and it hurt him, he had to let me go.

Our lives went on completely different paths.   

And looking back, I have Jude to thank for the path I'm on.  I no longer question whether he really loved me.  I just have to look at where I am to know that he did.

I once heard that letting go is sometimes the most loving thing you can do for someone.

Even though it hurt a lot, I thank Jude for letting me go.