Sometimes you ask a question to no one in particular ~ it's just a question that you send out there to the Universe, for which you don't really expect an answer.
But sometimes (and actually, I have found, oftentimes), the Universe responds.
Let me begin with a background story. Last Saturday night, I met up with a friend I haven't seen or spoken to in months ... many months. So, while we tried our best to catch up as much as possible, and tried our best not to forget any details, she asked me something that made me wonder, what was it specifically about L that made me like him? Made me want to date him?
I guess it was a question I had coming since I oftentimes spoke about how he had all the strikes, and we didn't seem to have much in common other than the fact that we were both attorneys. He only reads non-fiction, while I was all about fiction. He watched Fox News, and I was more of a CNN-type of girl (if I watched the news on television at all). He reads the newspaper (the actual paper) while waiting around in court, and I read the latest posts on my favorite blogsites from my phone. He loves foreign films, and I'm not much into subtitles. He's a Republican, and I voted for Obama. So, you can say, we were very different from each other.
So, what was it?
Well, since I was passed the point of feeling, and was at the point of reflecting, I gave my friend a more "analytical" response. The thing about analytical responses, however, they sound more like justifications lacking any real emotions. He was a good guy. He was an awesome father to his son. He treated me well. BLAH BLAH BLAH...
While the real response was lost in the Universe.
But, for some reason only it knows, the Universe decided to give that answer back tonight.
I was working late, feeling quite sorry for myself, hence I took the picture above to capture the beautiful sky I could only experience from my office window. And after a few minutes of taking that picture, my phone rang. When I saw his name appear on my cell phone, I heard the Universe's answer.
It's been awhile since L and I last spoke, but the moment I heard his voice, I was immediately reminded of his openness, candidness and honesty. As he updated me on the grueling court battle between him and the ex, I remembered why I was drawn to him despite the drama of his life that I didn't want. It was because from the very beginning, he was clear about who he was, what he wanted, what he thought and how he felt. I remembered that when we were finally introduced to each other (after how many months of planning by our mutual friends), he told me, within the first five minutes of our conversation, that he was divorced, he had a five year old son, he wanted to take me out and was interested in getting to know me. Honestly, I was quite surprised (and maybe a little frightened), but more than anything, it was very refreshing.
After many years of wondering how a certain someone I had been pining for felt (feels) about me, it was such a relief to meet someone who just told me what he was thinking and feeling, without any prying on my part. Every moment that L and I were together, I knew what he was thinking and feeling when it came to me and us. And although he was right that his candidness (oftentimes) made me nervous and a bit uncomfortable, it didn't stop him from letting me know what he thought and felt. And as time went on, it made me less nervous and uncomfortable.
So, when I spoke to him tonight, I remembered.
It was very simple.
I asked the question. And he answered.
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