because i care

 photo via

I read this today: "Never judge a person by their silence.  You think it means I don't care but the truth is, I care too much but I just don't want to get hurt." (via - thresca)

Anyhow, it struck a chord since I've been a little upset by someone's silence lately.  I just couldn't understand.  The silence.  So, I told myself that I didn't have to deal with it.  I shouldn't.  And, just let it go.  Not worth getting upset over.

But the thing was, I was upset.  And I realized that I was being silent, too.  Reacting to his silence with silence.  And, as much as I didn't want to admit it, I cared.  Maybe much more than I wanted to.  

So, I broke the silence.  

And he responded.  

And what I learned is similar to what the above quote says.  Pretty much this: his silence was not what I thought it meant.

The thing is, life happens.  And when we care about someone, sometimes, all we can do is try to understand.  Understand that their silence is not a reflection of any lack of feelings or care towards us.  Sometimes, it may be self-preservation (they don't want to get hurt) or for our own preservation (they don't want us to get hurt).  But whatever it is, I learned (and still learning) not to judge.  Not to assume.  And if I really want to know, just ask.  

Just also be prepared for the response.  Or lack thereof.  

In my case, he responded.  And as hard as it is, I know I just have to let him be to take care of his life as it happens.  And that this silence is for both of us.  Because we care ...