never judge a book by its cover.

Isn't that how the saying goes?

During a trial, before a jury is presented with evidence, the jurors are given several instructions.  They are told to keep an open mind, and to not allow bias, sympathy prejudice or public opinion influence their decision.  They are told to decide the case only on the facts they are given.  They are not to do any research on their own.  And in a criminal trial, the jurors are told that they are not to be biased against the defendant just because he has been arrested, charged and brought to trial.  Defendants are presumed innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.  (I won't even go through the definition of reasonable doubt!)

But as human beings, individuals, with life experiences, it's difficult to free ourselves of all bias, opinions or pre-conceived judgments.  Jurors don't enter a courtroom as empty shells the same way we don't enter a room, setting, situation or circumstance without our own sets of experiences, hang-ups, baggage, history or opinions.  It's common to attach stereotypes to labels and images.  Unfortunately. 

The danger, however, is when we don't bother - don't bother to listen, don't bother to learn.  The danger is when we immediately draw conclusions before we are even presented with all the evidence.  Because, oftentimes, we get something wrong.  That is why once a jury is impaneled and are presented a case, they are instructed before each break that they are not to form any opinions or decide the case until the prosecution and defense have both rested, meaning they have been presented with all the evidence, and until they are excused for deliberation.  Only then, can they discuss the case and form an opinion.  After both sides have had an opportunity to present their case.  It is the single instruction that is repeated over and over again.

Anyhow, I say this because, lately, I have become privy to some pre-conceived judgments about me.  Not all too bad.  Fortunately.  But not all too true either.  A lot of them were arrived at because I'm a lawyer.  I'm a woman.  In my mid-thirties.  Single.  And I'm a lawyer.  Do you get the idea?

The thing is, sometimes, when we judge before we know, we can lose out on what's real.  Lose the opportunity of getting to know someone.  And maybe even lose the chance of a friendship, a love ... or simply an amazing and memorable moment.

A long time ago I met someone who I had judged the very moment I laid eyes on him.  Judged him before he even said hello to me.  Judged him by his look.  His stand.  His mannerisms.  I had him all figured out.  And I thought, never.  Never would we be friends.  Never would he even look at me. 

Then, he said hello.  And for a first conversation, we spoke as if we were old friends who had not seen each other in a long time but were picking up where we had left off.  He proved me wrong.  In all respects.  And I gained a beautiful friendship.       
    
So, since then, I try, try very hard not to "judge a book by its cover."  And more often than not, I gain something wonderful.  Or at the very least, I learn something new.  So, take a look, or at least a peek, before you decide.  Whether this book is worth your time or not.     
 

* photo via