love in the kitchen

Filipino cuisines

Like I said, I'm happy to be back.  In my own space, and back to my routine.  But, the other night, as I attempted to make myself dinner, I realized there is one thing I really miss about the Philippines.  Well, aside from terribly missing my family, and especially, my grandma.  I really miss meal-time.

I miss how each meal is a big production.  The thought that comes with what dishes to prepare because there must be more than one dish, and all the food groups must be covered.  Including dessert.  There must always be something sweet to end the meal with.  So, when I say meals are a big production, they are.  From the planning, to the cutting and paring, to the washing, to bringing all the ingredients together in the pot.  Usually, several pots.  Then, there's laying it all out on the table.      

I miss seeing the table set for lunch and dinner, with proper place mats, a spoon and fork on each side of the plate, and an empty glass that will later be filled once everyone was seated.  I miss sitting around the dining table, passing the food around as each person takes a serving of the variety of dishes between us.  What I learned during the two weeks I was there was how much more connected we were when the only space between us were the crevices between our plates on the dining table.

Since my parents are divorced, I don't have that many memories of sitting around the dining table and eating a meal together as a family.  But, I want that.  Not too long ago, before my trip, a friend asked me how I pictured marriage and having a family of my own.  This is what I told her: Saturday mornings in the kitchen.  There's a huge island table, and my two young kids are all over it as they help the hubby and I prepare breakfast. Of course, the scene is somewhat messy - pancake mix spilt on the table and on the floor, egg shells on the counter, bowls and plates everywhere, and smoke coming from the stove as the eggs are starting to burn.  But no matter how much the hubby and I swear that we'll prepare breakfast without the kids, it's what we look forward to every weekend.  The same messy Saturday morning scene is what I want.

And now, I know why.  Food connects people, and preparing a meal together brings an even greater connection.  One, you have to be in close proximity with each other.  Two, you have to communicate with one another.  It's important that you do because if you don't, you'll have a messy kitchen but nothing else, i.e. nothing worth consuming.  Three, you create something together, as a team.  And from what I've seen, there's a special bond that forms when people create something together.  Yes, I understand, in the process, it can make us get on each other's nerves, too.  Sometimes, it can make us feel like we hate each other.  But, no doubt, there's a bond.  And well, once it's all done, you've created this masterpiece of a meal (whether it be mac and cheese and fried chicken or meatloaf and mashed potatoes or some french cuisine I can't pronounce), the sense of accomplishment can be pretty amazing.  And exciting.  Especially when you finally get to sit down and enjoy what you created together.

Yes, the real thing may not be such a pretty picture.  But, it's the messiness that I want, remember?