Follow Your Passion

I wasn't going to take another writing class until Fall because I wanted to give myself a break, i.e. focus on work.  Then, during Sunday's service about facing the future, about putting things off for a tomorrow that might not be there, I decided, I've put off my writing long enough.  I've ran out of excuses why I shouldn't just do it. 

So, there I was, in class, late last night, tired from a long, eventful weekend and a long Monday at the office.  I know that the reason I didn't want to take another class for awhile was because I was afraid of exhausting myself, spreading myself too thin, and failing.  At everything.  Because I've spread myself too thin.

But, then I remembered, I've done worst than this.  Worked two or three jobs at a time while carrying a full load at school.  Writing poems and short stories at 3 a.m. while I had to be at work four hours later.  Working eight hours a day, then going to class, only to return to work for another couple of hours.  I know I wasn't an attorney then.  I have more responsibilities now and much more at stake.  But again, I also have years of maturity and wisdom that I didn't have at 21.   

The thing is, I told my best friend yesterday during the drive to class, I've put off a lot of things.  Waiting for a certain life that just didn't or hasn't happened.  And there's nothing I can do about that or the time I wasted waiting.  But, I can do something about this.  Right now.  And I just don't want to put it off anymore.  I love to write.  I love to create with words.  I love seeing a story evolve on paper.  I love taking something as simple as a coffee mug and creating a story about it.  I love being able to describe the wrinkles on my character's dress and how it got there.  I love that I can find a story in everything.   

I love art.  It's what fuels the fire inside of me.  And honestly, for a long time, that fire was dead.  I felt dead.  But now, since I started taking these writing classes, being around writers, and just the mere fact that I'm writing, I feel alive again.  Back in my skin.

But I also understand where my dear loved ones are coming from.  They worry that something else has occupied my time.  For years, they competed with law school and then, my job.  And the fact that I'm super-busy also means less of a social life.  Thus, they really worry.  But, I repeated the pastor's sermon: Don't be anxious for nothing.  Don't be anxious about tomorrow.

And, in my own words, I reassured them, I shall not be idle.  And as absurd as this may sound, God has always told me, I'm going to marry an artist.

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