"I feel things, and there is nothing wrong with that."

In my last semester of college, Prof. St. John told me to find my voice.  He refused to accept my final project, which was a 5-page poem, for the Advanced Poetry Writing seminar, until I searched inside of me, and found that voice that was yearning to come out, he said.  So, for days and weeks, I went to this park up the hill from where I used to live, where I used to bring my brothers to whenever my parents fought.  I would sit on the swing for hours, listening.  Then, after what seemed to be a long, long time, I finally wrote my 5-page poem.  A completely different poem from the one I had originally turned in.

Actually, I was so inspired and excited that I ended up writing two versions of the poem.  And turned both of them in.

Afterwards, Prof. St. John told me, finally, you found your voice.

Unfortunately, I was silenced again.  And for years and years, that voice became imprisoned inside of me.  In a much darker and deeper place than it had been in before.

But, like I said, recently, I found my voice again.  And I have a very good feeling, this time around, I won't lose her that easily.  Because I can now say, "I feel things, and there is nothing wrong with that."

And I just want to share something Eve Ensler said about finding happiness (click here if you want to watch the TED Talk video), which I associate with finding my voice: "When we give in the world what we want the most, we heal the broken part inside each of us. ... Happiness exists in action, in telling the truth, in saying what your truth is, and it exists in giving away what you want the most."