struggling through the "gap"

I've been writing stories since I learned how to write.  Although, I don't think I've finished a story since I was twelve?  So, I guess, I can't really be considered an experienced writer.  Or even a writer, in that case.   

But, as a lawyer, I write everyday.  People hire me to write motions and appeals.  It's what I do.  And since other attorneys are willing to pay me to write, then, I must not be that bad of a legal writer.

Well, yes, but that's legal writing.  My creative work, on the other hand, is struggling.  Has been struggling for a long while. 

Today, I submitted five-pages of prose (the limit was ten) for the writing retreat.  (Did I mention I'm going on a writing retreat?  If not, well, yes, I am.  So excited!)  The thing is, I had over one hundred pages of materials to choose from, and I couldn't even find ten pages that I felt comfortable submitting.  Thus, I submitted five.  Five pages.  Five pages that took me over two hours to revise.  Edit.  Revise.  Until I had no choice but to turn it in.  As it was.  

I still don't feel good about what I submitted.  

But, I guess, this is what it means to be a writer.  A lot of work.  A lot of bad work.  But keep working nonetheless.  Keep writing.  Don't give up.  Even though the material looks really crappy.  Keep writing.  Finish what you started.  Don't give up.  On the story.  Don't give up.  On the art.  Don't give up.  On. The. Dream.  (Things I must tell myself everyday.)

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