This moment: a writer's rant to find her voice

I've tried to write a post for the last two hours, but halfway through, I hit a wall. The words seemed force. They didn't come naturally. They didn't sound like me. They didn't sound like me because I was making them sound like someone else's voice. I tend to do that when I find a voice that I like, a voice that pulls me in. I start thinking I want to write like that. I like that person's voice and I want to sound just like that person. Maybe if my voice was like that person's I'd have more readers or I'd finally get something published. So, I try to mimic, and it never works.

Because it's not my voice.

I once heard someone say that copying someone else's voice not only cheats you out of getting your's heard but it also deprives the world from hearing what you have to say. Since most written subjects are universal, what makes each story unique is the voice of the writer. And that was why my college poetry professor and adviser kept telling me to find my voice and once I did, to not be afraid to let it out.  

But I struggle with that. Being a writer we bare our souls with our words, our voice. And that can be terrifying because it makes us vulnerable, craving for acceptance of our work, our stories. I've been reading a lot of posts on the 31-Dayer Facebook page about concerns that the challenge has not brought much traffic to the blogs. And I'm guilty of that concern, as well. We're writers and we want readers. We write to be read. It goes hand in hand.

Yet, I also believe that writing is a personal journey, where there's a lot to be gained and those are not lost just because the experience was not shared with others. That's what I tell myself to keep me writing. We need to practice our skill. And that's what this writing challenge is all about, right? To push us to write.

And boy, it's pushing me. It's kicking my arse.

Because it has been a challenge. For one, there's the commitment. It takes a lot of time to write everyday. It takes even more time when you know you're going to publish it for all of blog world to read. It takes time that I don't have.

But again, I'm doing it. I'm doing it because I'm tired of hearing myself talk about how I want to be a writer but I don't spend nearly enough time writing (outside of what I write for work, that is). I don't spend the time necessary to finish my novel and the collection of short stories I've started. I'm just tired of starting something and not finishing it. So, even if this post has become a rant of some sort, I'm writing. And I'm writing in my voice.

Sometimes, if going on a rant is what it takes to find your voice, do it. Just write.