crossroads.

The other day, my friend asked me if I regret going to law school.  She asked if I could go back in time, would I do it all over again?

We were talking about writing at that time.  She is one of the few people in my life with whom I share my passion for writing.   

So, I told her the truth.  Yes.  I would.  I would still go to law school.  Even knowing how difficult law school was (is), and how that first year was miserable, I would still do it all over again.

Because the thing is, even though I constantly write (here) about how I just want to be a writer, well, I also wanted to be a lawyer.  And glad that I am.  

Ten years ago, I made the decision to go to law school.  But it was not a decision I made hastily.  I really thought about it.  A lot.  I took two years off after college to think about it.  And by thinking about it, I did the two things I loved.  I worked in a law office doing the only area of law I really wanted to practice.  And I wrote.  I took screenwriting classes, worked as a reader for a producer, and I wrote.  At the end of the two years, I chose law school.  

I shared with my friend how the summer before I started school, the producer I was working for told me that he set up a meeting with someone (another producer) who was interested in hearing about the screenplay I was writing.  Talk about decisions.  Opportunities.  Crossroads.  But well, being 25 and a little immature for my age (not to mention intimidated and scared), I made the decision not to go.  I didn't even finish the screenplay.  And for a long time after I wondered what would have happened if this producer had read my screenplay, liked it, and made something (ah, a movie) out of it.  Would I have still gone to law school?  

And the answer I always came up with is yes.*  Because I love the practice of law.  Although my grandma often tells me how she doesn't like the profession I chose (because of course, I don't get to spend as much time with her as I would like, as well), I love what I do.  I believe in what I do.  Yes, I work a lot.  Do I feel that I oftentimes miss out on parties and dinners and special occasions?  Of course.  Do I feel bad?  Absolutely.  But I also know that a part of life is taking responsibility for our choices.  Being an attorney is taking responsibility for my cases - my clients.  And if that means having to work even when I'd rather be doing anything other than that, I have to.  (And who is to say that I would not be as busy if I chose a career in writing?)   

Life is a constant decision.  Some decisions are small.  Some big.  Some life-changing.  I think back at my 25 year old self, and although I still think I was quite immature for my age, I also think that even in my immature state, I knew that just because I chose one (law school) did (does) not mean I can't one day pursue the other (writing).  Maybe a meeting with a producer would not come as easily now as it did then.  But again, who knows?  Maybe a better opportunity awaits me later.  Whatever my reasons, I just knew that I needed to be a lawyer first.  That going to law school and being a lawyer was something I needed to do.  Then.  And now.  So, I don't regret my decision.  Not at all.       

*So, I know that the decision not to meet with the producer was more because I just wasn't ready to be a writer then.  But I think I am now. 

*photo by *nacnud*busy