Well, 2009 is about to come to an end. It's been quite an eventful year. But I believe everything that happened this year is to prepare me for the big life changes about to happen in 2010.
Had lunch with M today, and we got to talking about J. Well, I mentioned him when she asked what was holding me back all this time. And I told her that my heart loved J, but at the same time, I didn't really know what I wanted. My heart had never, ever committed to anyone. Not even J. Even though I loved him. All of the emotions I felt for him were real. However, I didn't see a future with him. My heart was still looking elsewhere ... for the next best thing. I know that sounds a little sad. I mean, we had a lot of fun. Every time I think of us, all I remember is that we laughed a lot. But it also didn't seem real. We seemed to just live in our own little world, but a world that couldn't survive reality. Does that make sense?
Had lunch with M today, and we got to talking about J. Well, I mentioned him when she asked what was holding me back all this time. And I told her that my heart loved J, but at the same time, I didn't really know what I wanted. My heart had never, ever committed to anyone. Not even J. Even though I loved him. All of the emotions I felt for him were real. However, I didn't see a future with him. My heart was still looking elsewhere ... for the next best thing. I know that sounds a little sad. I mean, we had a lot of fun. Every time I think of us, all I remember is that we laughed a lot. But it also didn't seem real. We seemed to just live in our own little world, but a world that couldn't survive reality. Does that make sense?
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